The Importance of Remembering

The past can be a tricky thing: it clearly forms us, but how much? Do we need to remember in order to move forward? Do we need to forget?  Is our history control our destiny or does it merely influence it? And most importantly, whatever has happened in our lives up to this point, is there hope?

Bob Kelleman, a Christian counselor, author, and speaker (http://www.rpmministries.org/blog/), has a great perspective on this. His claim is that the Bible reveals to us not only the importance of remembering our past, but making sure we grow in Christian maturity as we do so.

Remember (humbly)

“Remember” is used 167 times in the Bible (at least in the NIV), reminding us of the importance of remembering. We see it both in the Old Testament and the New. Usually, it has to do with remembering events in order to remember that God was at work in the midst of those events 

• “Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day.  Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.  He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock.  He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, “My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me.”  But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today.”  Deuteronomy 8:11-18

• In Deuteronomy 32, God warns Moses that the Israelites will break their covenant with him. He tells Moses to write down a song of God’s presence (with all the interaction, faithfulness, and blessings and cursing of the covenant) and teach it to all the people so it will be a witness. One portion of the song says, “Remember the days of long ago; think about the generations past. Ask your father, and he will inform you. Inquire of your elders, and they will tell you.” Deuteronomy 32:7

• When Jesus and disciples participated in what we call the Last Supper, Jesus said, “Keep doing this to remember me” (Luke 22:19).

 There are times we read about forgetting the former things, but this idea is often misunderstood. Here are the two verses I hear quoted the most:

•  After citing all the ways He has redeemed or saved the Israelites, God says through Isaiah, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” (NIV) Isaiah 43:18-19

• Paul writes in Philippians that “…forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (NKJV) Philippians 3:13-14

The writers were not urging people to develop amnesia. In both cases, it means not being distracted by success and blessing. Isaiah was referring to good things, not bad ones (and actually tells them several verses later to “review the past for me”). Philippians is referring to good things in Paul’s life that could lead to self-righteousness, pride in personal accomplishments, and complacency. Bruce Springsteen was right: Glory days really will pass you by. Remembering the past is important for at least two reasons: our past clearly forms or informs who we are today, and God was present (and He is worth remembering).

Reflect (honestly)

Trying to suppress bad memories can become a refusal to face and deal with life. We talk a lot about “coping mechanisms” such as drinking and drugs and food, at least when they are used to numb our pain, emptiness, or guilt. But what about when we simply refuse to be honest about the things that have formed who we are?  Is that not an unhealthy coping mechanism too? Here’s a daunting verse: “Remember and never forget how angry you made the LORD your God out in the wilderness.” Deuteronomy 9:7 

Never forget how angry they made God!?  This is not a verse we see on coffee mugs or taped on bathroom mirrors. That’s a reference to the whole Golden Calf Episode, though Moses promptly lists four more places where they really made God angry because of their disobedience ( “You also made the Lord angry at Taberah, at Massah and at Kibroth Hattaavah…Kadesh Barnea.” 22-23). This was hardly a shining moment in Israelite history, but there it was. Nobody was allowed to dodge it.

We should be honest with ourselves, God and others regarding our past.  Can you remember times when you angered God – or your spouse, kids, parent, boss, friends – because of your sin? If this principle holds true, don’t forget how it impacted those around you. It can be a great incentive to stop your drifting back into that part of your life, and it can give clarity about what kind of person you are striving to be. Reflecting on the devastation of sin also reminds us of the grace of a God who forgives us even after the worst of our sins, as well as the forgiveness people around us have offered to us.

Repent (sincerely)  

In Revelation, after John gives props to the church in Ephesus for their perseverance and godly deeds, we read an admonition as well: “You have forsaken the love you had at first. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first” (Revelations 2:5). 

I am more and more convinced that true, life-changing repentance can only happen after honest acknowledgment of who we are and what we have done. The goal – at least when it comes to memories of things we have done wrong – is not shame but repentance and then renewal and restoration. In Psalms 51, written after his disastrous affair with Bathsheba, David modeled what to do after falling from the heights: remembering and repenting of his heart and his actions – and then receiving God’s renewal:

“Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in your sight… Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” (Psalm 51:1-4; 10-12)

Notice how David adds repentance to his recollection of events, then anticipates the forgiveness and mercy of God on the other side of the chaos that resulted from his sin. Remember….reflect, repent….God will be faithful.

Reinterpret (carefully)

Reflecting and repenting have a lot to do with looking at our choices and our lives. There are also plenty of times when things are done to us that greatly impact our lives as well. Joseph makes this comment to his brothers, who sold him into slavery: “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (Genesis 50:20)

The language in Hebrew captures both a physical or symbolic weaving together, like a tapestry with a good or evil plan. Joseph looked back at his life and found where and how God intervened in his story to create some type of beauty and life where there would have been none. In this situation, Joseph was able to see in a very practical way that God had brought a good result (“the saving of many lives”) from a bad situation.

I preached on this a number of years ago, and in looking back at my notes I think I got something wrong. I said this was about Joseph. It’s not. It involves Joseph, but it’s about “the saving of many lives.” Joseph wasn’t saying, “They intended harm for me and now God has intervened by my good.” He’s saying, “They intended harm for me and now God has intervened for the sake of the world.” The story of Joseph is rightly highlighted as pointing toward the arrival of Jesus, [1] so I am not going to tell you that you are Joseph. Joseph was Joseph, and God used his life uniquely. 

However, his story highlights an important point: God can take a life that has absorbed a lot of harm and bring about good - for the sake of the world. Many times we look at our lives and assume we are worthless in the overall scheme of things. (“Do you know what has been done to me? Do you know how I have been betrayed and used?”) But God is not stumped by sin and chaos. Just read the Bible – God is very, very good at taking broken, sinful, messed up lives and redeeming them for His glory and for the good of the world.

Reinterpret does not mean lie, ignore or make up stuff to make the story better. It just means that we should not give up on a God who is very, very good at taking situations or people that have been harmed and using them in the healing of the world (think of all the people whose past makes them such good ministers of the hope of the gospel now).

Reinterpret is a challenge to see how your past experiences allow you to minister to others for their good and God’s glory.  

Retell (boldly)

We engage in an act of worship by retelling our stories in a way that shows how God weaves goodness into the world. Our testimony of God’s involvement in our life is never meant to be just about us – it must honor and glorify God and His role in redeeming our past, and it is meant to give hope to the world. Look at how David wraps up Psalm 51 (the one about Bathsheba): “Then I will teach transgressors your ways,
so that sinners will turn back to you... Open my lips, Lord,
and my mouth will declare your praise.”  (Psalm 51:13)

 Really? How will David teach this?  Well if the previous verses in chapter 51 are any indication, he will tell his story. He speaks as a transgressor and sinner in whom God was at work even in the midst of his sin. It is often in the retelling where we see that even the worst parts of our past can be reclaimed and retold for the glory of God. We don’t remember to wallow in our past sin and shame, but to remind ourselves and others of a God who present, faithful, and redemptive. 

[1] http://jewsforjesus.org/publications/newsletter/july-1985/08_joseph_jesus

Jesus: Redeemer and Savior

 "O Come, O Come Immanuel" is a classic Christmas carol about ransom, or redemption. While there is a lot of biblical language (Dayspring and Rod of Jesse), the dilemma is timeless: Without Christ, we are captives to sin, we live under the shadow of death and the grave, we are the lonely exiles. We are in need of someone who will save us.

In the Old Testament, the Hebrew word for redemption is gaal. It can mean a number of things: 

• being freed from a bond

• buying back something that was lost or sold. (Think today of extreme debt – college loans, money owed to a hospital or to the IRS).

• the paying of a ransom to save someone from slavery or captivity.  We hear a lot today about the international slave trade – Christian Solidarity International is redeeming slaves for $50 to $100 in the Sudan right now. [1]

In the Old Testament, Goel is the term for the person who was the "redeemer." God is called Israel's goel numerous times (Deuteronomy 9:26 2 Samuel 7:23 1 Chronicles 17:21 Isaiah 52:3). He redeemed them from national misfortune (Isaiah 52:9; Isaiah 63:9) plague (Psalm 78:35, 52) disaster, (Genesis 48:16 Numbers 25:4, 9), and captivity (Egypt and Babylon). Isaiah wrote how those mourning in exile and darkness would one day see the arrival of redeemer to save them from all these things:

“The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light;
those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shined. You have multiplied the nation,
you have increased its joy;
they rejoice before you
as with joy at the harvest,
as men rejoice when they divide the spoil. For the yoke of his burden,
and the staff for his shoulder, the rod of his oppressor, you have broken as on the day of Midian. For every boot of the tramping warrior in battle tumult and every garment rolled in blood will be burned as fuel for the fire.

 For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government will be upon his shoulder,
and his name will be called
“Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end,
upon the throne of David, and over his kingdom to establish it, and to uphold it
with justice and with righteousness
from this time forth and for evermore.” (Isaiah 9:2-8)

 Isaiah adds later, 

“ I am the Lord. Beside Me, there is no savior. There is no other redeemer. Thus says the Lord, your redeemer, the Holy One of Israel. I am He.” (Isaiah 43:11)

 All the practical, physical ways that Israel’s God redeemed them was simply a foreshadowing or representation of the ultimate salvation that God was promising: redemption from sin or the results of sin (Psalm 130:8). The penalty of sin was death (as we see in the sacrificial system in the Old Testament). Yet God steps in as a Redeemer here as well.  Isaiah (once again) wrote:

 “Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions (rebellion), he was bruised for our iniquities (sin); upon him was the chastisement that made us whole, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way, and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity (guilt) of us all.” (Isaiah 53:4–6)

In Jesus, the long-awaited redemption from sin arrived. We see this referenced again and again in the New Testament: 

• Matthew 1:21
 "And [Mary] will bring forth a son, and you shall call his name Jesus: for he will save his people from their sins."

• Acts 10:43
 "To him [Jesus] all the prophets witness that, through his name, whoever believes in him will receive remission of sins."

• Hebrews 9:11-12
 "…not with the blood of goats and calves, but with his own blood he entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us."

• Ephesians 1:7 
"In him [Jesus] we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his [God's] grace…"

• Colossians 1:14
 "In whom [Jesus] We have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins…"

• Titus 2:14 “He gave Himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to cleanse for Himself a people for His own possession, eager to do good works.”

• Romans 3:24: “For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God; being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God sent to be an atoning sacrifice, through faith in His blood…”

Jesus arrived to redeem people from the alienation brought about by sin, and he did so through his death and resurrection (Romans 4:25 ; 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 ). The darkness and gloom over the land we sang about in “O Come Immanuel” was not primarily because life was hard. It was primarily because sin was wreaking havoc in the souls of those in the land. So God – through Christ – brought a great light. The joy and rejoicing and healing and life happen because Christ took the initiative to offer himself as a ransom on behalf of those enslaved to sin and death.[2]  So what does this redemption look like? How are our lives made beautiful? 

We are redeemed from sin, into life in Christ, with God’s people, for the glory of God.

Redeemed from sin. Once we have given ourselves to sin, we immediately incur a debt we cannot satisfy.  There are small ways in life where we can “save ourselves” – I paid off my college debt, for example. If I fail to do what I told my wife I would do to help clean up on Saturday morning, there’s always Saturday afternoon J  But the daunting nature of SIN is that we incur a debt that we cannot pay – “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23)  In order to pay our own ransom, we would have to die. We need a redeemer, someone who will pay the price and ransom us, and that someone is Jesus Christ. We are delivered from ‘the law of sin and death’ by his life, death and resurrection. “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ.” (Romans 6:23)

Redeemed from sin, into life with Christ. This is the positive movement of a soul away from sin and toward peace and reconciliation with God. Christ didn’t just cancel our debt; He brought us into new life.

“For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but made alive by the Spirit." (I Peter 3:18) 

" God demonstrates his own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by his life." (Romans 5:6-10)

When we talk about the hope and peace of advent, this is what we are talking about. Peace on earth – goodwill toward those on whom His favor rests.” (Luke 2:14) “He is our peace.” Why? “You who once were far away have been brought near by the blood of Christ.” (Ephesians 2:13)

Redeemed from sin, into life with Christ, with God’s people. God does not redeem us into isolation. He intended to create a community of people would live in covenant community of commitment, obligation, and responsibilities with God and each other. When that happens, Christians increasingly demonstrate what it genuinely means to be God’s people. This is what Jesus meant when he said he would build his “church” not as a building, but as a community of people from all nations (Matthew 16:18; 28:19). This involves truth, repentance, forgiveness, grace, love, justice, mercy and holiness.

Christopher Wright has noted, “The people of God in both testaments are called to be a light to the nations. But there can be no light to the nations that is not shining already in transformed lives of a holy people.” It’s not just about you, or just about me, or just about any one individual. We are redeemed – and now I am talking about every way – to become ambassadors of Christ’s redemption. (Maybe “pay it forward” is the phrase is the phrase I am looking for?)

Redeemed from sin, into life with Christ, with God’s people, for the glory of God.

“My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit.” (John 15:8) 

“For all things are for your sakes, so that the grace which is spreading to more and more people may cause the giving of thanks to abound to the glory of God.” (2 Corinthians 4:15)

“What if God, willing to show His wrath, and to make His power known, endured with much patience those who are destined for destruction: and that He might make known the riches of His glory on those to whom he shows mercy, who were prepared in advance for glory.” (Romans 9:22-23)

Ultimately, we aren’t redeemed for our glory (though we have been prepared for it). We aren’t redeemed to build the church (though that’s part of it).  We are redeemed so that the Redeemer is glorified. I like how David Vandrunen summarized this idea:

“Despair would seem to be the only logical response if all we knew about ourselves was our sinfulness and consequent condemnation before God’s judgment. But humility grounded in the gospel enables us to understand that we do have true worth and that we are, in fact, called to glory. It is not a worth that derives from our own efforts and not a glory we can achieve by our own strength. Rather, the gospel reveals our worth as those renewed in the image of God through Christ, empowers us to do works that are truly good and honorable, and gives us hope of a coming glory bestowed by Christ at his second coming…. 

God glorified himself in all his works, but is especially pleased to glorify himself through the glorification of his saints in Christ – whose glorification thus redounds back to the glory of God… May we fear and glorify him especially for doing precisely what it took, at such great cost to himself, to redeem lowly sinners and make us glorified citizens of a kingdom that can never be shaken.”   (God’s Glory Alone: The Majestic Heart of Christian Faith And Life)

God is not glorified in my life because I’m awesome. Those of you who know me well can vouch for this. God’s not glorified in any of our lives because we are awesome. God’s glorified in our lives because of His desire and ability to redeem even me – even you -  in spite of the cost, and because He has taken our broken lives and patiently been patching them back together.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUP3iNSw1kU

[1] “Redeeming Sudan’s Slaves,” http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/1999/august9/9t9029.html?start=2

[2] http://www.biblestudytools.com/dictionaries/bakers-evangelical-dictionary/redeem-redemption.html

The Reality of The Kingdom of God

If you have ever traveled, you know that cultures are different. The deep south is not the same as the far north in the United States (everything is fried in butter; if they don’t know you, they might not be open). When we go to very different cultures we can experience “culture shock” because things are SO different: gestures, food, social expectations (being on time; making eye contact; physical greetings), driving habits, etc. In culture shock, we experience “a condition of disorientation affecting someone who is suddenly exposed to an unfamiliar culture or way of life or set of attitudes.”

When we commit our lives to Christ, there should be culture shock. We have moved spiritually. We are now citizens in a new country, with a  new leader (Christ), new customs, new language, new priorities. And then we balance this with remaining in our national country and being a citizen there. As Christians, we are all dual citizens, balancing what are at times two very different cultures.

So let’s talk about the culture of the Kingdom of God, and in the process address some things in our culture as well. I am going to present this as 4 questions and answers: How do we get into the Kingdom? What characterizes the Kingdom? When Will I experience the Kingdom? How will I experience the Kingdom?

 Q. How do you get in to the Kingdom of God?

A. Through a commitment to dedicate my life to the risen Jesus.

 When Jesus was talking with Nicodemus the following conversation took place:

  “I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again.” “How can a man be born when he is old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb to be born!”

Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’” (John 3:3-7 )

 Jesus was basically saying, “Nicodemus, you know that you need a physical birth to experience the physical world; human parent make human babies.  You need a spiritual birth to experience spiritual life. You need to a heavenly parent to make you a child of Heaven.” Later, Paul will compare this to adoption. When we commit our lives to worshipping and following Christ, we are brought into a new family, with a new Father in Heaven. We continue to honor our earthly mom and dad – it’s a commandment after all - but our ultimate allegiance is now to our Father in Heaven.  And receiving this adoption is as simple - and profound – as John 3:16, which is just 9 verses later (still part of the same conversation):

  “For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

Believe (pistis in Greek) carries the idea of  “being persuaded to confidently, trustingly commit yourself.” We acknowledge that Jesus is God, that through his life, death and resurrection, our sins are forgiven, that Jesus alone has the power to save us, and that we respond to His loving sacrifice by offering our love and worship as well as the service of our lives in return.

We commit with heart, soul, mind and strength , and we enter the Kingdom of God as we accept Christ as King – the ultimate authority for life and godliness.  In new birth, we see that God brings life. In adoption, we see that God offers to make us one of His own. In kingship, we are reminded that the rule and reign of Christ has been set up in our life.

Q. What characterizes the Kingdom?

A. God’s will being done on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10)

“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest (honorable), whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely (acceptable and prized), whatsoever things are of good report (repute); if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8)

 “The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” (Galatians 5:22-23)

 “Make every effort to respond to God's promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.” (2 Peter 1:5-7)

 There’s just a partial list: Truth, honesty, honorable, justice, purity, loveliness, praise-worthiness, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, faithful, morally excellent, knowledgeable, self-controlled, enduring, godliness, mutual affection. That’s what characterizes the Kingdom.  That’s a compelling list. These things are available to us when we accept Christ as King thanks to the Spirit and the Word of God.

It doesn't’ mean that life will be easy or perfect. It’s just that the more we experience the work and presence of Christ in our life, the more these things will begin to characterize our life in Christ.

It also doesn’t mean we will do them perfectly, but we will pursue them, applaud them, and do our best with God’s grace to live them out, not for recognition, or for power, or to earn God’s love, but as a trusting, committed response to the covenant we as Christians make with Jesus. “I commit my life to you;  I trust that you can save me spiritually and that your path of spiritual transformation of my life is trustworthy. I will follow you. I want my character, my thoughts, my actions to be like yours.”

We pray for God to do something miraculous in us through His Spirit, we “study to show ourselves approved unto God” by rightly understanding and applying His Word to our lives (2 Timothy 2:15), and we surround ourselves with followers of Christ (Colossians 3:16)

Q. When will I experience the Kingdom of God?

A. If you are a follower of Christ, you are and you will.

“The kingdom of God comes—but not with signs that you can observe. People are not going to say, “Look! Here it is!” They’re not going to say, “Look! It’s over there!” You want to see the kingdom of God? The kingdom of God is already here among you (within your midst).” Luke 17:20-21)

The first-century Jews wanted a leader to throw off Roman rule and make Judea a nation. There was a cultural longing for national restoration, a nation in which everything centered around God. There would be safety within the borders; everyone would live within God’s law; God’s people would be powerful, and the long-awaited Kingdom would finally arrive.  I’ll be honest – that resonates with me. There’s something compelling about a safe, comfortable life. Wouldn’t it be nice if those outside the Kingdom loved and supported what was happening in the Kingdom?

But Jesus talked about the arrival of the Kingdom even as he spoke in a land of occupation and oppression. It was not a Kingdom of physical dominance – he specifically tells his servants not to fight (John 18:36). It’s not a Kingdom of cultural comfort. It’s a spiritual Kingdom that exists no matter what our surrounding circumstances look like.

But that’s just part one. There’s more.

"But when the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. And all the nations will be gathered before Him; and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; and He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on the left. Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.’” (Matt. 25:31-34)

The Kingdom is fulfilled within history [already], and will reach its fullness at the end of history [not yet].  For Christians, the Kingdom begins in this life and finds its fulfillment in the next.

Q. How will I experience it?

A. In a broken, longing, hopeful world.

On this side of heaven, we will always experience the spiritual kingdom of God in the midst of the physical kingdoms of the world. In the last two weeks, I saw the following:

• a video of four men being slowly burned alive by ISIS

• more Planned Parenthood videos that show the callous and calculating taking of human life

• the increasing move in culture to marginalize and even vilify those who hold to Christian beliefs

• the expose of Ashely Madison clients that included Christians in leadership

• MTV’s video music awards last week that just showed the stark contrast between the values of the world vs. the Bible

 The beauty and hope of God’s Kingdom can be experienced in the midst of a very broken and lost world.

We lie, and gossip, and betray, and break hearts, and love poorly, and are not fair, and we are shallow and petty and desperately chasing after things that will never bring us hope or meaning or true joy and peace…. And yet the beauty and hope of God’s Kingdom can be experienced in the midst of a very broken and lost world.

• When truth triumphs over lies

• When purity is honored instead of demeaned

• When repentance and forgiveness highlight grace

• When joy emerges from despair

• When an unexpected peace occurs in or around us

• When we experience the beauty of patience and kindness

• When those around us are faithful and enduring

• When Christ reaches out to us sinners and draws us into His Kingdom

In Luke 14, when one of the disciples comments on how great it will be to feast in heaven, Jesus immediately tells a parable about a feast here on earth in which the poor and maimed and lame and blind are invited – in fact, compelled to come in. 

 “He [God, the Father] has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love” (Colossians 1:13)

 The Kingdom is a feast, a celebration of the love and mercy of Christ to which the poor, the rich, the dirty, the clean, the smart and dumb, the blatant sinners and the careful sinners – in other words, all of us - are invited in to experience the goodness of life in the Kingdom in the presence of the King.   

The Value of the Kingdom (Matthew 13:44-45)


”The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it.” (Matthew 13:44-45)

Not, “The Kingdom of Heaven is like a man who found a treasure, so he sold most of what he had in case it didn’t work out.” The man sells all he has with joy! In Philippians, Paul talks about all the ways in which he was an amazingly religious person – his pedigree was pure, and he was blameless in obeying the law. He had power and reputation. But after became a follower of Christ, he wrote:

“I regard everything as loss for the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish in order that I might gain Christ and be found in Him.” (Philippians 3:8)

The first point is that the Kingdom of Heaven demands all of us. Everything on earth is worth the trade-off. There is no giving up all we have -  except for our money, our job, our friends, our sex life, our vacations, our retirement plans, our temperament, our appearance, or our dreams. If there is an area that we won’t gladly give up for the sake of knowing Christ and living in the life He has called us to, we are clinging to idols, and we will never understand what it means to live in the Kingdom of God.

 “There is a condition for having the kingdom… the condition is not wealth or power or intelligence or eminence. The condition is that you prize the kingdom more than you prize anything else.” (John Piper)

 The second point has to do with how the treasure is found.

In the first parable, the treasure is found unexpectedly in a field. Not in a bank, not in a lawn, not underneath the floorboards of a house.  It was found unexpectedly in a common field in the midst of labor. We rarely stumble upon the Kingdom in the midst of luxury, ease and distraction. It often happens when we are in a field, in the midst of the ordinary toil of life, faithfully putting one foot in front of the other. This treasure was not found during a spiritual retreat or at a conference or even a Sunday morning service. The Kingdom of Heaven – the beauty of Christ and the richness of the life he offers – is often stumbled upon while you are doing life:

• pulling out your hair dealing with your kids

• doing the hard work of marriage

• punching the clock at your job

• talking with your doctor

• grinding away at homework

• navigating loneliness or depression or grief.

 The field is hard. Going back to an earlier parable - there are thorny people who leave marks. There are things that sting us and bite us (words, glances, snubs, misunderstandings). There is sweat, pain, loneliness, loss, grief, depression, frustration. There is stony ground and hardened people. But the Kingdom of Heaven is there because God is present and Christ is available, and the treasure – salvation, forgiveness, and restoration - will be revealed if we faithfully work the land.

 The man in the field stumbles upon the Kingdom; in contrast, the merchant has already been searching diligently for it among the beautiful, costly things.

 This merchant knew what beautiful things looked like, but he was not content with ordinary. He didn’t want to just get by. He wanted the only one that really matters. The beautiful pearls around us might be our toys, reputation, beauty, sex, family, entertainment, America!  Other religions can offer what seems to be a very compelling path to peace or hope. A distracting a beautiful pearl in our current climate is our reputation among our friends – we are reluctant to talk about Jesus, or about sin and the need for salvation, or even share the story of our life with others because we don’t know what will happen.  But those are small pearls indeed compared with Christ, in whom all the true treasures of life are found.

In conclusion,

• The Kingdom of Heaven is valuable and costly.

• Whether stumbled upon or searched for diligently, Jesus Christ and the salvation and hope He offers are worth the cost.

• Nothing matters more than the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus as Lord. (Philippians 3:8)

The Soil of The Kingdom (Matthew 13:3-9; 18-23)

Jesus talked a lot about the Kingdom of Heaven – a life where the rule and reign of God is both seen and experienced, a Kingdom that we become a part of when we commit ourselves to Jesus Christ. We become citizens of heaven, and this world is not supposed to be ‘home’ any more. When Jesus said, “The Kingdom of Heaven is IN YOU!” (Luke 17:21), it’s not some New Age proclamation that we are all gods. He simply meant it’s not “there” or “there” where an earthly kingdom can be seen. It’s not kicking out the Romans and establishing a Jewish nation. That's not the Kingdom of Heaven. The rule and reign of Christ is now in our hearts.

 Jesus told a number of parables about the Kingdom of Heaven explaining to his followers what characterizes the kingdom of Heaven, and, by implication, how they ought to seek to live as citizens of that kingdom. We are going to take five weeks to go through the parables in Matthew 13. Today we are looking at the Parable of the Sower.

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A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. (Matthew 13:3-9)

This is what the parable of the sower means. It is about the kingdom of heaven. When someone hears the story of the Kingdom and cannot understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away whatever goodness and holiness had been sown in the heart. This is like the seeds sown beside the road. You know people who hear the word of God and receive it joyfully—but then, somehow, the word fails to take root in their hearts. It is temporary. As soon as there is trouble for those people, they trip: those people are the seeds strewn on the rocky soil. And you know people who hear the word, but it is choked inside them because they constantly worry and prefer the wealth and pleasures of the world: they prefer drunken dinner parties to prayer, power to piety, and riches to righteousness. Those people are like the seeds sown among thorns. The people who hear the word and receive it and grow in it—those are like the seeds sown on good soil. They produce a bumper crop, 30 or 60 or 100 times what was sown. (Matthew 13:18-23)

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 It was likely the audience could look out on the hillside and see a sower going forth to sow. They could see a path which had been beaten across the field and the birds picking up the seeds right behind the sower. They could see the rocky ground,  the thorns and thistles, the good soil. While there is a lot to unpack here, I want to make only two points from this parable.

1. The Gospel is for everyone.

Considering the fields in Palestine, there was really no way to avoid ‘wasting’ seed. Jesus didn’t tell them to be more conservative with their planting. He just acknowledged not all the seeds are going to make it. But… sow. By all means. Paul wrote:

 And, even though no one (except Jesus) owns me, I have become a slave by my own free will to everyone in hopes that I would gather more believers. When around Jews, I emphasize my Jewishness in order to win them over. When around those who live strictly under the law, I live by its regulations—even though I have a different perspective on the law now—in order to win them over.  In the same way, I’ve made a life outside the law to gather those who live outside the law (although I personally abide by and live under the Anointed One’s law).  I’ve been broken, lost, depressed, oppressed, and weak that I might find favor and gain the weak. I’m flexible, adaptable, and able to do and be whatever is needed for all kinds of people so that in the end I can use every means at my disposal to offer them salvation.  I do it all for the gospel and for the hope that I may participate with everyone who is blessed by the proclamation of the good news. (1 Corinthians 9:19-23)

It’s not our job to decide who deserves the good news of the Gospel and who doesn’t. We are always evangelizing; we are always ambassadors for the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

2. The Gospel takes root when it is planted deep in good soil.

 This is a summary statement of all the soils, so let’s work our way through them.

 Hardness of heart: when truth has no impact on us. There is no sense of the terrible nature of sin, particularly our own.  There are at least three ways in which our responses can reflect a hardness of heart.

• First, the hard-hearted don’t believe in sin. Good and evil are what we want them to be, and I am good. I don’t need a gospel of salvation. 

• Second, the hard-hearted can hear the Gospel, believe that  sin offends a holy God, harms us, devastates the world around us  - and just not care because they want to live life by their own rules.   

• Third, the hard-hearted hear and believe it’s true, but they only see the sinners all around them and fail to see the sinner within.

Brennan Manning wrote, “The kingdom is not an exclusive, well-trimmed suburb with snobbish rules about who can live there. No, it is for a larger, homelier, less self-conscious caste of people who understand they are sinners because they have experienced the yaw and pitch of moral struggle.” The gospel takes root in broken, humble people.

The Rocky Soil of Hardship and Trials: tough times uproot our faith. 

1. Hardships – Life is Hard: sickness, poverty, ongoing sin, broken relationships, death of a loved one… When we face these times, we assume God doesn’t care, isn’t strong or isn’t real, and whatever we once believe uproots and dies. There is no depth to faith. There was not a true understanding of what Jesus saved us from – that is, the penalty of our sin, not the hardship of life. Disillusionment wins because truth did not put down roots. 

1. Trials – Being A Christian Is Hard: Specific challenges to our faith.

• Some of them are literal, physical persecution. (http://www.opendoorsusa.org; persecution.com). This happens around the world constantly.

• Some of them are challenges to orthodoxy (what we believe as Christians): Does God exist? Is Jesus really God? Why would you trust the Bible? Do you really believe in Heaven and Hell? (See our church’s statement of faith at https://clgonline.org/statement-of-faith/). I have had people tell me they just think I am out of my mind to believe the Bible.

• Some of them are challenges to orthopraxy (how we live as Christians): In our culture, the issues primarily involve sex, marriage and human life (they were different 30 years ago; they will be different 30 years from now. Don't focus on the issues as much as the principle). We can be attacked as hateful or bigoted because we believe that God designed all sex for marriage, that God’s design for marriage is between a man and a woman, and that when sex results in babies they are human beings with a right to life.  When we don’t agree, we can be villified very quickly. If you don’t know how to answer questions about Christian beliefs and practices with truth and compassion, we will do our best to help you here at church, but you need to invest in understanding life in the Kingdom. Buy books. Watch videos. Listen to podcasts. Find good websites. Come to the 11:15 classes. Know what the Bible says, why God thought it was important to say it, and why it’s true.  

The Thorns: Distractions and Temptations

• Distractions: the glittery, shiny and beautiful things: friends, health, food, jobs, money, relationships, anything with a screen… Distractions are not things that are bad in and of themselves. They just begin to dominate our vision and take our eyes off of Christ.

• Temptations: the desire to sin – to live outside of God’s design for our lives. It’s often very subtle – usually, we are tempted to take something good (see the list above) and make it an idol. We begin to serve them because of the comfort, pleasure or power they bring.  (Note: In Christianity, we sacrifice ourselves so that others can live. In idolatry, we sacrifice others so we can live).  

The Good Soil 

"But the ones that fell on the good ground are those who, in AN HONEST AND GOOD HEART, having heard the word, KEEP it, and bring forth fruit WITH PATIENCE." (Luke 8:15, a parallel parable)

This is where the Kingdom flourishes. This is what characterizes citizens in the Kingdom of Heaven.

• Honest and good-hearted people  are empowered by God with a goodness only God can bring, and as a result of their salvation live in a way that is inspirational and appealing. I don't mean Oprah Winfrey of Lifetime Network inspirational. I don’t mean you become one of the shiny happy people. The idea with this phrase is that God has made something good in you, and your life shows this. This isn’t a call to perfection. It’s a call to live genuinely in Christ and with others, letting others see what is happening in you. When Jesus brings beauty from the ashes of your life, that’s compelling.

• Hear the Word (literally). Don’t overcomplicate this. It just means know the Word of God. Read it. Read about it. Pray about it. Study it, listen to teaching about it, discuss it with your friends… Hear it over and over again. I was reading about the Rule of 151 on a blog called A Purposeful Business: It takes 151 times for a message to be heard through conversation: "The first 50 times people don’t hear you; the second 50 times they don’t understand you; the third 50 times they don’t believe you; the 151st time that they finally hear, understand, and think, 'Well, there must be something to this.'”

          The Holy Spirit opens our eyes, but we have to keep looking. 

• Understand it (synthesize it; find the preferred will of God. This is soaking it up, letting it rest in you, and nourishing it. This is being vulnerable, being honest with yourself, looking for the ways God’s truth needs to grow in you.

• Keep It (Hold fast; take possession). This is putting down roots and saying, “I will not be moved.” This is where, in the midst of hardship, we say like David, “Yet will I praise Him.” This is clinging to the truth of God in a culture that offers a lot of loud and glittering half-truths: “Live for yourself; do what feels right; you’re perfect just the way you are; love is all you need; the most important things is that you are happy.”

• Bring Forth Fruit patiently (literally, be “unswerved from deliberate purpose and loyalty to faith by even the greatest trials and sufferings” - biblehub.com). Paul said he ran the race with patience.  This is about decision, focus, and commitment.

This is what life in the Kingdom of Heaven look like when the rule and reign of God is both seen and experienced. This is what we are called to when we commit ourselves to Jesus Christ. I want to offer an encouragement and a challenge in closing.

The challenge is to ask yourself what kind of soil you are. Is your heart hardened or broken? Are you driven to your knees in humility and repentance on an ongoing basis? If not, you’ve got to surrender your blindness and pride to Christ not just for your sake, but for the sake of those around you. Are the hardships of life uprooting you? Are the distractions and temptations of the world choking out the beauty of the gospel? If so, pray that God makes in you a soil that loves and nourishes truth, that let’s the hope of the gospel sink in deep, so that it bears the fruit of the gospel within you and around you.

 The encouragement is that you don’t have to feel like a superstar in the Kingdom of Heaven to honor God. There’s nothing flashy about the good soil. It’s a deliberate commitment to respond to God’s work in you by dedicating yourself to understanding and living out His design for you – with great patience.  That’s good soil that brings good fruit.

Walking In War (Ephesians 6:10-20)

"Finally, brothers and sisters, draw your strength and might from God. Put on the full armor of God to protect yourselves from the devil and his evil schemes. We’re not waging war against enemies of flesh and blood. No, this fight is against tyrants, against authorities, against supernatural powers and demon princes that slither in the darkness of this world, and against wicked spiritual armies that lurk about in heavenly places. And this is why you need to be head-to-toe in the full armor of God: so you can resist during these evil days and be fully prepared to hold your ground."

Here we see individual responsibility in the midst of corporate unity. This is not like spiritual gifts or the “Five Fold Office” mentioned earlier in Ephesians where God gave “some” to be apostles, evangelists, etc. This is a clear call to all of us.

"Yes, stand—truth banded around your waist, righteousness as your chest plate, and feet protected so you are steadied by and ready to proclaim the good news of peace with God. Don’t forget to raise the shield of faith above all else, so you will be able to extinguish flaming spears hurled at you from the wicked one. Take also the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray always. Pray in the Spirit. Pray about everything in every way you know how! And keeping all this in mind, pray on behalf of God’s people. Keep on praying feverishly, and be on the lookout until evil has been stayed. And please pray for me. Pray that truth will be with me before I even open my mouth. Ask the Spirit to guide me while I boldly defend the mystery that is the good news— for which I am an ambassador in chains—so pray that I can bravely pronounce the truth, as I should do."

 In Romans 13: 12-14, Paul writes, "Put on the armor of light… clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ." He was expanding on the words of Isaiah:

• “Righteousness will be his belt and faithfulness the sash round his waist.” Isaiah 11:5

• “For he put on righteousness as a breastplate, and an helmet of salvation upon his head” (Isaiah 59:17).

Paul talked other places about the nature of our fight. “For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds. We destroy arguments…and take every thought captive.” (2 Corinthians 10:3- 5).

 Let’s be clear: God makes the armor. We ask for it, and He gives it, not because we are awesome, but because He is. Then we have to put it on.  Paul says, “It’s time to move. Put on that which God offers you for your good and His glory.”

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• Put on: The Belt of Truth (aletheia, reality as opposed to illusion).

• Stand For: The truth that God is real; Jesus was God in the Flesh; his life, death and resurrection bring us salvation, forgiveness and hope. If this is not true, “we are of all people most miserable.” (1 Corinthians 15:19)

• Stand Against: The error that Christianity is wishful thinking (“I want it to be true!”), merely human thoughts (“The Bible just shows us how people thought about God”), or only one way of many equally effective ways.

• Put on: The Breastplate of Righteousness    (dikaiosune, right standing with God)

• Stand For: The truth that it is only through Jesus Christ that we are absolved from the penalty of sin, freed from the power of sin, and guarded while in the presence of sin.

• Stand Against: The error that we are born good (“I’m on the right track, baby, I was born this way”), or that we can become righteous through our works .

• Put on: The Shoes of Peace (eirene, peace with God; tranquility in salvation)

• Stand For: The truth there is spiritual peace with God through our commitment to and ongoing life with Jesus Christ. This is not the same as saying that if you are a Christian, there will be peaceful coexistence of others on earth, or that you will always feel interior peace. This is a claim about a truth that is greater than our circumstances or our feelings. Romans 5:1-2: “Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us. Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory.”

• Stand Against: The error of false saviors (spiritual or material) and fleeting peace, which is usually some form of indulgence or avoidance. If something calms the chaos in our life no matter how little and how temporary, we tend to overindulge. Money? Sex? Being noticed and admired? Food? Vacations? Or if something brings anything unsettling, we avoid. People who annoy us…situations that aren’t just to our liking…a controlled environment (diet, exercise, social groups)

• Put on: The Shield of Faith (pistis; “Trusting, holding to, and acting on what one has good reason to believe is true in the face of difficulties.” – Tim McGrew)

• Stand For: The truth that there is wisdom in an ongoing trust in and response to God. A belief that the Bible matches the world.  We often think of faith as just trust in God. I think we have to include trust in God’s revelation. The Bible tells us that we are to be faithful in little things if we expect to be trusted in big things (Luke 16:10). But if the Bible is wrong, then God has not been faithful in little things. If you don’t understand the little things in the Bible, press in to them. Read. Study. Pray. Ask qualified, godly people for advice. Trusting that the biggest things are true in Christianity will trickle down; trusting that the smallest things in Christianity are true will build up.

• Stand Against: The error that we should trust in Idols (self, hidden knowledge, politicians, the economy, health, pop psychology, etc).

• Put on: The Helmet of salvation (soterios; saving)

• Stand For: The truth of God's promises of eternal salvation and ongoing sanctification in Jesus Christ. “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind… “ (Romans 12:2)   “Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus…” (Philippians 2:5) “…be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.” (Ephesians 4:22-24)

• Stand Against: The error of gaining salvation from anything other than Christ, or evolving spiritually by thinking positively

• Put on: The Sword of the Spirit (The Bible) 

• Stand for: The truth of the power, trustworthiness and sufficiency of God's Word to tell us what we need to know about Christ and His plan for the world.     

• Stand Against: The error of giving anything else equal weight in your spiritual formation; trusting outside sources or inner revelation over clear Biblical truth.

Note: In Bible times, there was no stainless steel. A sword unused became rusty, dull, and pitted. Swords were kept clean by frequent use or by honing them against a stone (the Rock of Ages) or another soldier’s sword. “Iron sharpeneth iron” (Proverbs 27:17)

• Put on: Prayer (proseuchomai; literally, to interact with the Lord by switching human wishes (ideas) for His wishes. “They Kingdom come, they will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:10)  “Whatsoever you ask in my name…” (John 14:13) Accordingly, praying is closely inter-connected with pístis ("faith") in the NT. – (biblehub.com). In fact ,James 5 talks about the prayer of faith (“

• Stand For: The truth that prayer is powerful and necessary. We are told to constantly pray (1 Thessalonians 5:16) “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” (Romans 12:12) “The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” (James 5:16)

• Stand Against: the error that prayer manipulates God or that prayer is unnecessary. God is not a machine. He’s not programmed in such a way that we can manipulate Him. God will answer prayer how he chooses to answer prayer. The prayers of the righteous are powerful, but not coercive. On the other hand, prayer is clearly not irrelevant. Part of being faithful is praying faithfully, and in the end praying what Jesus prayed: “Not my will, but yours be done.”

A final thought involving shields: We often read this individually: “You, Anthony! Stand!” But this letter was written to the churches in Ephesus. It’s a group command. Everyone then who saw the Roman army knew how this principle worked (see the cover of your bulletin). Now, in order for the group to stand, individuals need to stand to. It doesn’t absolve us. But it reminds us again of the importance of unifying around Christ, then standing against everything that comes against us – together.

Walking in Light (Ephesians 5:1-19)

1 So imitate God. Follow Him like adored children, 2 and live in love as Christ loved you—so much that He gave Himself as a fragrant sacrifice, pleasing God. 3 Listen, don’t let there be a hint of sexual immorality among you. Any demoralizing behaviors (such as impurity and greed) are inappropriate topics of conversation for those set apart as God’s people. 4 Don’t use abusive language (swearing, obscenity) or spurt nonsense. Don’t make harsh jokes or talk foolishly. Make proper use of your words, and offer them thankfully in praise. 5 This is what we know for certain: no one who engages in loose sex, impure actions, and greed—which is just a form of idolatry—has any inheritance in the kingdom of God and His Anointed.

6 Don’t be fooled by people who try to excuse these things—they just use meaningless words to show empty souls. For, in His wrath, God will judge all the children of disobedience for these kinds of sins. 7 So don’t be persuaded into their ignorance; and don’t cast your lot with them 8 because, although you were once the personification of darkness, you are now light in the Lord. So act like children of the light. 9 For the fruit of the light is all that is good, right, and true. 10 Make it your aim to learn what pleases our Lord. 11 Don’t get involved with the fruitless works of darkness; instead, expose them to the light of God. 12 You see, it’s a disgrace to speak of their secrets (so don’t even talk about what they do when no one is looking). 13-14 When the light shines, it exposes even the dark and shadowy things and turns them into pure reflections of light. This is why they sing, ‘Awake, you sleeper!
 Rise from your grave,
 And Christ will shine on you.’ (Some scholars think this verse may have been an early “baptismal hymn.)

15 So be careful how you live; be mindful of your steps. Don’t run around aimlessly as the rest of the world does. Instead, walk as the wise! 16 Make the most of every living and breathing moment because these are evil times. 17 So understand and be confident in God’s will, and don’t live thoughtlessly. 18 Don’t drink wine excessively. The drunken path is a reckless path. It leads nowhere. Instead, let God fill you with the Holy Spirit. 19 When you are filled with the Spirit, you are empowered to speak to each other in the soulful words of pious songs, hymns, and spiritual songs; to sing and make music with your hearts attuned to God; 20 and to give thanks to God the Father every day through the name of our Lord Jesus the Anointed for all He has done.”

 What do we need to bring into the light so that we can walk in the light and live in unity with others? (Note: Paul is not pointing out how they are to earn their salvation. He is showing them how to live out their salvation as they seek to conform to the image of Christ. So don’t see this as “This is how I get saved.” It’s, “This is what life in Christ is meant to look like. I honor the sacrifice of Jesus and I love my neighbor as I walk in the light of Christ.”)

1. Our sexuality. We are called to self-sacrificial, boundaried love, not selfish, unboundaried lust – specifically, God designed sex to be experienced by a man and a woman in marriage. The intimacy Christ shares with His Bride, the church, is shared with no other. It’s an analogy. There is a reason God puts borders around our sexuality. Chaos in some form comes when properly placed fences go down; life flourishes when they stay up. This is not to say that sexual sin is unforgivable – which is good news for all of us, I suspect. It is forgivable. It’s noting that sexual sin is outside of God’s design, and a life lived in the light of Christ does not embrace it or applaud it, but seeks to live out sexuality in a way that honors God, protects others, and allows us to live in purity.

2. Our words must be true and helpful vs. false and destructive. This is speaking truth in love. If we just speak truth without showing love, we are destructive. If we show love without speaking truth, then we are false, and we just enable. Our speech should be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that we can provide answers to everyone. (Colossians 4:6)

3. Our circumstances. We are called to contentment and generosity, not greed.. Philippians 4:11-13: “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Contentment is such a gift. Do we have to have physical comfort and material things to be happy, or do we look to Christ to strengthen us in our times of need? And those who have plenty – do you look around to identify those in need? A greedy community will never last, because it is full of resentment, competitiveness, and selfishness. A generous community is full of applause, kindness, and self-sacrifice, and it will flourish as everyone looks out for the needs of others, and commits to contentment no matter what the circumstance.

 4. Our time (mindful and purposeful vs. lazy and unfocused). Mindful is not the same as obsessing, and purposeful is not the same as driven! It simply means be alert, aware, prepared, and engaged as you are able. Remember, David had men in his army who ‘understood the times, and knew what to do.’ (1 Chronicle 12:32).  There was a time in American history when Christians could coast (in the sense that culture largely agreed with them. Not anymore. We have our work cut out for us. We are now in a place where we need to be “ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within us” more than ever. This might not be a bad wake-up call. We have to revisit our Bibles, engage in conversation with other Christians, study, read, listen not only to the church conversation but to the cultural one.

5. Our attitude. We are to be helpful and thankful vs. leeching and grumbling. Ever had a friend who always complained, always borrowed and never lent, and always wanted their life to be better but never helped anyone else’s life to be better? What about the friend who looked for the good, lived generously, and looked to improve the lives of those around them? One drains, the other fills. One divides, one unifies. 

• Philippians 2:3-4: “Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” 

• Matthew 20:25-28: “Do you want the Kingdom run like the Romans run their kingdom? Their rulers have great power over the people, but God the Father doesn’t play by the Romans’ rules. This is the Kingdom’s logic: whoever wants to become great must first make himself a servant; whoever wants to be first must bind himself as a slave — just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life as the ransom for many.”

6. Our focus. We need to stay focused on God and the person of Christ vs. idols  “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator” (Romans 1:21, 25). Idolatry happens in any circumstance where there is something you feel you must have to be happy, that is more important to your heart than God himself. We would not lie, cheat, steal, gossip, lust, or abuse others unless first we had made something—human approval, reputation, power over others, financial advantage, sexual desire, fame, comfort—more important and valuable to our hearts than the grace and favor of God as experienced through the person and work of Jesus. (HT Tim Keller, “How To Find Your Rival Gods,” christianitytoday.com) We need to stay focused on God and the person of Christ

• Psalm 34:5 “Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.”

• Colossians 3:1-3  “Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.”

• Hebrews 3:1 “Dear brothers and sisters who belong to God and are partners with those called to heaven, think carefully about this Jesus whom we declare to be God's messenger and High Priest.”

• Hebrews 12:2: “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. 

Walking in Light (Ephesians 5:1-20)

EPHESIANS 5:1-20

1  imitate God. Follow Him like adored children, 2 and live in love as Christ loved you—so much that He gave Himself as a fragrant sacrifice, pleasing God. 3 Listen, don’t let there be a hint of sexual immorality among you. Any demoralizing behaviors (such as impurity and greed) are inappropriate topics of conversation for those set apart as God’s people. 4 Don’t use abusive language (swearing, obscenity) or spurt nonsense. Don’t make harsh jokes or talk foolishly. Make proper use of your words, and offer them thankfully in praise. 5 This is what we know for certain: no one who engages in loose sex, impure actions, and greed—which is just a form of idolatry—has any inheritance in the kingdom of God and His Anointed.

6 Don’t be fooled by people who try to excuse these things—they just use meaningless words to show empty souls. For, in His wrath, God will judge all the children of disobedience for these kinds of sins. 7 So don’t be persuaded into their ignorance; and don’t cast your lot with them 8 because, although you were once the personification of darkness, you are now light in the Lord. So act like children of the light. 9 For the fruit of the light is all that is good, right, and true. 10 Make it your aim to learn what pleases our Lord. 11 Don’t get involved with the fruitless works of darkness; instead, expose them to the light of God. 12 You see, it’s a disgrace to speak of their secrets (so don’t even talk about what they do when no one is looking). 13-14 When the light shines, it exposes even the dark and shadowy things and turns them into pure reflections of light. This is why they sing, ‘Awake, you sleeper!
 Rise from your grave,
 And Christ will shine on you.’ (Some scholars think this verse may have been an early “baptismal hymn.)

15 So be careful how you live; be mindful of your steps. Don’t run around aimlessly as the rest of the world does. Instead, walk as the wise! 16 Make the most of every living and breathing moment because these are evil times. 17 So understand and be confident in God’s will, and don’t live thoughtlessly. 18 Don’t drink wine excessively. The drunken path is a reckless path. It leads nowhere. Instead, let God fill you with the Holy Spirit. 19 When you are filled with the Spirit, you are empowered to speak to each other in the soulful words of pious songs, hymns, and spiritual songs; to sing and make music with your hearts attuned to God; 20 and to give thanks to God the Father every day through the name of our Lord Jesus the Anointed for all He has done.” 

What do we need to bring into the light so that we can walk in the light (following Christ; imitating his sacrificial love; being filled with God’s Spirit) and live in unity with others? (Note: Paul is not pointing out how they are to earn their salvation. He is showing them how to live out their salvation as they seek to conform to the image of Christ. So don’t see this as “This is how I get saved.” It’s, “This is what life in Christ is meant to look like. I honor the sacrifice of Jesus and I love my neighbor as I walk in the light of Christ.”)

1. Our sexuality. We are called to self-sacrificial, boundaried love, not selfish, unboundaried lust – specificall, God designed sex to be experienced by a man and a woman in marriage. The intimacy Christ shares with His Bride, the church, is shared with no other. It’s an analogy ☺ There is a reason God puts borders around our sexuality. Chaos in some form comes when properly placed fences go down; life flourishes when they stay up. This is not to say that sexual sin is unforgivable – which is good news for all of us, I suspect. It is forgivable. It’s noting that sexual sin is outside of God’s design, and a life lived in the light of Christ does not embrace it or applaud it, but seeks to live out sexuality in a way that honors God, protects others, and allows us to live in purity.

2. Our words (true and helpful vs. false and destructive). This is speaking truth in love. If we just speak truth without showing love, we are destructive. If we show love without speaking truth, then we are false, and we just enable.? Our speech should be full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that we can provide answers to everyone. (Colossians 4:6)

3. Our circumstances. We are called to contentment and generosity, not greed.. Philippians 4:11-13: “I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Contentment is such a gift. Do we have to have physical comfort and material things to be happy, or do we look to Christ to strengthen us in our times of need? And those who have plenty – do you look around to identify those in need? A greedy community will never last, because it is full of resentment, competitiveness, and selfishness. A generous community is full of applause, kindness, and self-sacrifice, and it will flourish as everyone looks out for the needs of others, and commits to contentment no matter what the circumstance.

4. Our time (mindful and purposeful vs. lazy and unfocused). Mindful is not the same as obsessing, and purposeful is not the same as driven! It simply means be alert, aware, prepared, and engaged as you are able. Remember, David had men in his army who ‘understood the times, and knew what to do.’ (1 Chronicle 12:32). There was a time in American history when Christians could coast (in the sense that culture largely agreed with them. Not anymore. We have our work cut out for us. We are now in a place where we need to be “ready to give an answer for the hope that lies within us” more than ever. This might not be a bad wake-up call. We have to revisit our Bibles, engage in conversation with other Christians, study, read, listen not only to the church conversation but to the cultural one.

5. Our attitude. We are to be helpful and thankful vs. leeching and grumbling. Ever had a friend who always complained, always borrowed and never lent, and always wanted their life to be better but never helped anyone else’s life to be better? What about the friend who looked for the good, lived generously, and looked to improve the lives of those around them? One drains, the other fills. One divides, one unifies.

• Philippians 2:3-4: “Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”

• Matthew 20:25-28: “Do you want the Kingdom run like the Romans run their kingdom? Their rulers have great power over the people, but God the Father doesn’t play by the Romans’ rules. This is the Kingdom’s logic: whoever wants to become great must first make himself a servant; whoever wants to be first must bind himself as a slave — just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give His life as the ransom for many.”

6. Our focus. We need to stay focused on God and the person of Christ vs. idols “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator.” (Romans 1:21, 25) Idolatry happens in any circumstance where there is something you feel you must have to be happy, that is more important to your heart than God himself. We would not lie, cheat, steal, gossip, lust, or abuse others unless first we had made something—human approval, reputation, power over others, financial advantage, sexual desire, fame, comfort—more important and valuable to our hearts than the grace and favor of God as experienced through the person and work of Jesus (HT Tim Keller, “How To Find Your Rival Gods,” christianitytoday.com). We need to stay focused on God and the person of Christ

• Psalm 34:5 “Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.”

• Colossians 3:1-3 “Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God's right hand. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.”

• Hebrews 3:1 “Dear brothers and sisters who belong to God and are partners with those called to heaven, think carefully about this Jesus whom we declare to be God's messenger and High Priest.”

• Hebrews 12:2: “Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.

Our Life (with others) Part 4

Last week we talked about building each other up with our words – how we  “communicate grace to those who hear them.”  But there is another layer to this discussion – how do we live with grace? We talk a lot about church community, but true community doesn’t just happen. There’s more to life together than just words. There are attitudes and actions. There’s a climate we create in the church.

I don't know what every individual experience has been like in this church or at other churches you may have attended. I do know this: life together can be hard. We are flawed people in whom God continues to work, but God wouldn’t have to do that if we had it all together. So let’s talk a little but more this morning about how to do life together.

THEREFORE, put away your lies and speak the truth to one another because we are all part of one another. When you are angry, don’t let it carry you into sin. Don’t let the sun set with anger in your heart or give the devil room to work. If you have been stealing, stop. Thieves must go to work like everyone else and work honestly with their hands so that they can share with anyone who has a need. Don’t let even one rotten word seep out of your mouths. Instead, offer only fresh words that build others up when they need it most. That way your good words will communicate grace to those who hear them. 

It’s time to stop bringing grief to God’s Holy Spirit; you have been sealed with the Spirit, marked as His own for the day of rescue. Banish bitterness, rage and anger, shouting and slander, and any and all malicious thoughts—these are poison. Instead, become kind and compassionate. Graciously forgive one another just as God has forgiven you through Jesus, our Liberating King. (Ephesians 4:21-32, The Voice)

It’s interesting to me that stealing, lying and relentless anger * are all listed together. They seem unconnected, but I don't think they are. They all create distrust, anxiety and a lack of safety. They all make us want to retreat or withdraw rather than engage honestly and openly. They all undermine community. In a setting like this, you are never safe.

• If we are a community of lies instead of truth, then we don’t know if people are being honest with us or not (about God, life, themselves or ourselves), so we are always guarded and increasingly cynical. I was talking with a friend who left the faith, and she noted a pivotal point when she was a teen. Her church said no one was supposed to see movies, but her parents told her, “Just don’t tell anybody we are going.” My friend said to me, “That’s when I learned about hypocrisy.”

• If we are a community of out-of-control emotions, we don’t know if it is safe for us to even be honest and engaged. What if I offend someone and they just keep holding a grudge? What if someone is angry or hostile and doesn’t deal with it? So we are always guarded and increasingly withdrawn.

• If we are a community that takes instead of gives, we don’t know if people are out to use us or help us. Don’t think just money here: think time, energy, relational burdens. We’ll just be sucked dry if we are the only one giving while everyone else is taking. Our friends always unload on us but never let us unload; we volunteer ourselves into the ground while others don’t find a way to plug in at all (the 80/20 rule). We always reach out to others and nobody reaches back, but just waits for us to reach.  It’s hard to flourish when we are surrounded by takers and not givers. If this happens, we are always drained and increasingly reluctant to give.

 Paul is calling us to be “givers” of three absolute necessities in life together as a church community:

• Honest Speech.  People are meant to learn truth in a church community about God, life, and themselves. We want to be the kind of people that, when we talk, people listen, because they know we are doing our best to be honest and true.

• Emotional Safety. People shouldn't be intimidated or bullied in a church. The reality of our emotions should be recognized, but they must be properly expressed. The Bible talks a lot about the importance of guarding our hearts, because what’s in it will overflow. In a church community, people guard their hearts so that they can guard their eyes, their attitudes, and their posture, and in so doing they guard the hearts of others.

• Generosity. In genuine church community, people will share their resources with those who are in need. I don’t just mean the offering. It’s buying a copy of SpeakUp, getting a baby bottle and filling it up with change for PCC, supporting fundraisers, offering resources to friends in need, volunteering time and energy in the church and the community. It’s seeing a need and filling it if you are able to do so. 

As if that weren’t challenging enough, Paul continues:

“Banish bitterness, rage and anger, shouting and slander, and any and all malicious thoughts—these are poison. Instead, become kind and compassionate. Graciously forgive one another just as God has forgiven you through Jesus, our Liberating King.”

Bitterness in the New Testament carries the idea of poison - the bitter root that leads to bitter fruit. This is not a new concept. In fact, it pulls from the Old Testament.

"Beware lest there be among you… whose heart is turning away today from the Lord our God to go and serve the gods of those nations. Beware lest there be among you a root bearing poisonous and bitter fruit…They will end up destroying everything in the country." (Deuteronomy 29:18)

"See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled." (Hebrew. 12:15.

Note the community language: many become defiled; a country is destroyed. No wonder this grieves the Holy Spirit. Then Paul gives a contrasting list things that will either build or undermine truth, safety, and generosity in a community. In the process, he paints a bleak picture of life outside of Godly community, and a beautiful picture of life inside godly community. First, the things that characterize life that ruins Christian community.

• Rage -  panting with anger. People cringe around you. They want to get away from you because of what you will say or do.

• Anger -  a fixed disposition.* A simmering animosity.

• Brawling - clamorous outbursts, like shrieking. Everything escalates.

• Slander - calling something or someone bad that is good.

• Malice – an eagerness to do evil. A desire to spoil or destroy.

 Think of this whole process as a smoldering ember of bitterness that will eventually burst into flames of rage. It simmers as anger, it begins to consume everything around it in outbursts and general meanness, and it just burns through a community leaving a charred mess in its path. Armies have sometimes practiced total destruction when invading or retreating. Everywhere they go, the consume everything they can, then burn what’s left. That’s what Paul is describing here – people who just leaves devastation in their path. Has anyone ever had someone try to relate with you when they had these attitudes? Have you ever tried to approach someone else? It’s a recipe for disaster. 

• If you are just mad at someone, that’s a bad time to speak into their lives. Reign it in. You will just blow things up otherwise.

• When somebody gets a new job while you struggle, or they find someone who loves them while you are lonely, or it looks like God is transforming your friend’s life while you feel stagnant, it’s easy to say snide things out of frustration and jealousy. That’s an issue you, God, and some godly friends or counselors need to hash out. Don’t put that on your neighbor.

• If someone has hurt you, and you just want to tell other people about it so you can take them down a notch because it’s about time other people saw how ugly they were just because you don’t like them – stop. If you are harboring the thought that you just really hope something bad or hard happens to someone else because you don’t like them…that’s got to be surrendered to Christ.

 And in that surrender, God works to bring out the godly replacements: kindness, compassion and forgiveness. They characterize life as it is intended to be lived inside Christian community.

Notice that Paul writes “become” or “rather than simply “be.” Kindness, compassion and forgiveness are not states we simply luck into. We have to abandon one approach to life and embrace another. We must seek them out, and we must commit to cultivating these things even when we don’t feel like it.

 Kindness is giving what is suitable and useful or beneficial. It’s making life appropriately pleasant to other people.

The word used here is Xrestus ("useful, kindly"). It was a common slave-name at the time, a spelling variant for the unfamiliar Christus (Xristos). In Greek the two words were pronounced alike." (F. F. Bruce, The Books of Acts, 368).) Kindness brings us back to the loving service that Christ displayed, the idea of a self-sacrificial commitment for the good of others. You don’t have to like people, but you have to be kind. Hold your tongue if you are inclined to insult or gossip. Channel your emotions constructively. Guard your heart so you can protect their heart.

There’s something to be said for being nice in a culture that is increasingly just mean. What if Christians would be known for loving service, whether through acts of kindness such as gifts, time and energy, money, friendship, employment, etc. Considering how Christians are viewed today, I think that might be shocking in a really good way. 

Compassion is tender-hearted, gut level sympathy. It implies that we genuinely feel for those in pain or in sin.  This is the most emotive word in the list Paul uses.

• Is your response to people around you who are sinning to grieve the impact sin is having in their life and those around them?

• Does it break your heart that a fallen world breaks people?

• Have you prayed for Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner?

• When you see someone post something obnoxious about Christianity or applaud sin, do you explode and attack or does your heart break as you carefully engage?

• Have you prayed for whatever your spouse or kids (or parents or siblings) are going through that is making them so hard to live with, and then tried to engage and understand?

 I have a feeling many of us will need to do some serious praying for the miraculous addition of “gut level sympathy.”  It’s more than just a purposeful decision to be kind. It’s asking God to align our heart with His.

 Forgiveness: sacrificial, underserved favor. We have a Christ who willingly suffered to reconcile us to God. Are we willing to suffer to reconcile with others? And by suffer, I mean put our indignation, anger, bitterness and rightness on the altar and say to someone, “I forgive you,” even when it costs us a great deal.

And it will. All forgiveness is costly. It cost Christ a crucifixion to forgive me; why should I expect that when I am called to forgiveness that I will not be called to die to something in myself? There may be someone in this room who has wronged you. I hope that they are convicted to repent and seek forgiveness. Meanwhile, if you have been wronged, are you able to put your anger and bitterness on the altar? Are you willing to forgive as one who has been forgiven?

It is only when we die to ourselves that we can rise in Christ. It was after his death that Jesus rose in the glory of Risen Savior. It is after we lay down our life – first to Christ and then with kindness, compassion, and forgiveness for others - that we can rise into the light of the glory of this Risen Savior.

 And that is also when as a community we experience the beauty of life together in Christ.

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* Note: this is a reference to unreasonable anger.  Paul wrote that when you are angry, don’t sin. Jesus was clearly angry at times; God is described as angry at times in the Bible. There is a righteous anger that sees sin and it’s destructiveness and is angry at the things that break the world. 

Proverbs 6:16-19, NIV There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.

It is possible to have the heart of God and be angry. But what may start out as a righteous indignation can become a way in which we give the devil room to work. That’s when we become that inferno, and we are in danger of becoming the inferno that consumes and destroys everything. 

Our Life (with others) Part 2 & 3

We've been in Ephesians (specifically Ephesians 4) talking about the different ways God equips people in His church to minister in order to bring maturity and growth in Christ. 

• We looked at the gifting of apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors and teachers in the early church (and noted it was a partial list).

• We looked at how a (sometime different) expression of those gifts continues for the sake of creating a well-rounded church.

• We talked about how the point of these gifts (as with any gift) is the growth and maturity of the church, not the influence of the person with the gift or even the gift itself.

• We noted the Bible does not tell us to pursue these gifts. They are given as God sees fit.

• They are not markers of spiritual elitism.

• Each of us individually ministers to other people in ordinary, every day life in a way that aligns with those different gifts.

 And we noted that life together is hard. Often our interaction includes challenges or confrontation. Encouragement is fun. Everybody likes that. However, conversations that are meant to move us deeper into discipleship with Christ are often very hard. Last week after the service, someone asked me, “Do I have to listen to everybody who wants to confront or challenge me?” Great question. Let me add a couple more.

• Do we have to agree to listen to or meet with anybody who calls us up and says we have to talk about something in our life?

• What if we are trying to listen, but people are jerks?

• What if we are at a place in our life where only one kind of voice/approach  are coming through clearly right now?

• What if we have been hurt or mislead by someone before – do we need to keep listening?

• What do we do if we approach someone and they don’t listen?

• What if people think we are always out of line when we weigh in on something?

It’s a good thing Paul keeps writing. 

“ If you have heard Jesus and have been taught by Him according to the truth that is in Him, then you know to take off your former way of life, your crumpled old self—that dark blot of a soul corrupted by deceitful desire and lust— so that you are transformed as God renews your mind, attitude and spirit. Then you are ready to put on your new self, modeled after the very likeness of God: truthful (speaking and living what’s real), righteous (approved by God), and holy (living within God’s design).

 Sounds good, right? So, how does that look? 

THEREFORE, put away your lies and speak the truth to one another because we are all part of one another. When you are angry, don’t let it carry you into sin. Don’t let the sun set with anger in your heart or give the devil room to work. If you have been stealing, stop. Thieves must go to work like everyone else and work honestly with their hands so that they can share with anyone who has a need. Don’t let even one rotten word seep out of your mouths. Instead, offer only fresh words that build others up when they need it most. That way your good words will communicate grace to those who hear them.

 It’s time to stop bringing grief to God’s Holy Spirit; you have been sealed with the Spirit, marked as His own for the day of rescue. Banish bitterness, rage and anger, shouting and slander, and any and all malicious thoughts—these are poison. Instead, be kind and compassionate. Graciously forgive one another just as God has forgiven you through Jesus, our Liberating King. (Ephesians 4:21-32, The Voice)

 Paul is showing us two ways that life together can go wrong or right: with our words and with our attitudes (that lead to actions). There is a lot to unpack here, so today we are going to focus on the first part: how we build each other up and are built up with words.

 “Don’t let even one rotten word seep out of your mouths. Instead, offer only fresh words that build others up when they need it most. That way your good words will communicate grace to those who hear them.” (Ephesians 4:29)

There are 4 Principles For Conversation found in Ephesians 4.The first three are for the speakers, those of us who believe that, in the course of life together as Christians, we need to step into someone else’s life to challenge or confront. (I’m not talking about easy conversations. I’m talking about the hard times in life together). The last part is for the listeners.

#1. Not even one rotten word (worthless; rotten; corrupt)

 “Rotten” is a broad word so let’s narrow it down with other examples from Scripture.

• Slander (Psalm 50:20, 21). Defaming someone’s character.

• Gossip (Proverbs 16:28) Spreading stories.

• Arguing (Philippians 2:14) Constant confrontation.

• Criticizing (Matthew 7:1) Consistently judgmental perspective.

• Complaining (Philippians 2:14) Nothing is good enough.

• Filthy language (Colossians 3:8) Crudeness; offensiveness.

• Boasting (James 4:16) Relentless self-promotion.

• Lying (Exodus 20:16) Deliberate deception, especially about others.

  “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). Your words are a gauge of what’s in your heart. So when we read that we are not to let rotten, worthless corrupt words come out of our mouths, we need to realize this is addressing our hearts as well.

If you are a slanderous, gossipy, argumentative, critical complainer who boasts and lies and generally speaks crudely… you might want to think twice about deciding you should be stepping into other people’s lives and calling them out on their stuff.  You might have the most insightful thing in the world to say… and never be heard because you have allowed these things to fester in your heart – and they spill over in your words.

By the way, if you ever get frustrated that no one will listen to you, check this list – and then have the courage to ask others to give you some feedback based on this list. You might have great stuff to offer, but if you are harboring these issues in your life, people are already having trouble getting along with you, and they you are piling on with words. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

 So the first step in communication: own your stuff. Take an honest look at the state of your heart. Pray for the Holy Spirit to bring you discernment – and then ask a trusted friend or two to join in.

 #2. Words that build up…

 This word carries with it the idea of building a home; (figuratively) it is constructive criticism and instruction that builds a person as a suitable dwelling place where the Lord is "at home." (biblehub.com).

 God builds the foundation of our new life through Christ; we are the “living stones” that build on this foundation. As with any home, quality matters. God allows us to play a role in building up the church by building up the people in the church. We used to sing a song, “Building up the temple… building up the temple of the Lord.” That’s the idea.

 So if “no unwholesome talk” was what not to do, here’s what you should do. Think of everyone as the dwelling place of God, and you by your words will help to build a place where God is at home. What does this look like? Jesus said to pray that God’s kingdom would come to earth. What characterizes God’s Kingdom? Love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, self-control, truth, grace, purity, hope… Is that what we build with?

What difference would it make if we consciously thought about this with every word we said. My kids get on my nerves – am I building up or tearing down the dwelling place of God with the next thing I say?  My spouse annoys me… my friends let me down…am I doing my best to bring about the things that characterize God’s Kingdom on earth?

My brother or sister in Christ needs someone to speak into their lives. I guess it’s me (we think with fear and trembling!) What attitude and words can I use that will build up the dwelling place of God? 

 #3. “When they need it the most”

Proverbs 27:14 says, “If one blesses his neighbor with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be counted as a curse to him.” Sometimes we just shouldn’t talk.  If you are going to speak a challenge into someone else’s life, you have to meet them where they are. The pressure is on you to see and understand the person to whom you are talking and speak according to their needs.

Proverbs 25:11 says, “Words spoken at the right time are like golden apples in a basket of silver.” In other words, they are precious. They are in short supply. Anyone can say worthless and corrupt things. It’s easy. Beautiful speech is hard. If you can speak appropriately, you will stand out as you bring richness and beauty to your relationships.

If that sounds hard, it is. That sounds like time spent together…friendship… relationship…investing in someone’s life so that by blood, sweat and tears you have gotten to know them, and NOW you are at least in a position to bring life to them and build them up according to their needs.

How many times do we walk away from a tense situation with someone thinking, “They have issues. I was just faithful to say what God laid on my heart. If they can’t hear it, it’s their problem.” Maybe it is. Maybe it’s not. Maybe you did not take the time to pray, to prepare, to make sure you were in a position to build up according to their needs, not vent according to yours. Maybe you barged in when they weren’t ready for you. Maybe you were a spiritual bull in an emotional china shop. Maybe you are the issue.

If you are speaking, do it with fear and trembling, with your radar up for signs that you are bringing offense that comes from you and not your message. Pray for wisdom. Make sure you are on solid ground biblically (am I speaking truth?) and relationally. Ask permission. Rewrite emails 5 times. If appropriate, ask others for their discernment. If you offend, listen and learn.

#4. To those who hear them…

And now we get to the one receiving the message. You are supposed to listen. Proverbs 12:15 reads, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.”

In a community of ‘give and take’ with people who are often different from you, there will be times when people speak your language, and times when they don’t. Sometimes people will approach you at just the right time, and other times they won’t. So what do we do if we as a listener have a lot of reasons not to listen, or we have trouble hearing what others have to say because of how past experiences have formed us?

First, set boundaries. It’s okay to draw lines. Maybe some people shouldn’t have permission to speak into your life because of their track record, and you say, “No thanks. I have others around me who are helpful right now.” Maybe there are others you want to hear, but you are really nervous, so you meet them with a third party. When I was coaching, I had the AD read emails from angry parents. I know a couple where one of them filters certain email messages for the other one. Boundaries are okay.

Second, if speakers have to own their stuff, listeners do to. People will offend you. And maybe it’s them – but since I already covered that - maybe it’s you. Maybe you are overlooking a heart that is for you and you are only seeing an approach that offends you. Maybe you are reading into what they say. Maybe you are letting past experiences distort how you view the present one.

If you are listening, do it with openness and humility, with your radar up for signs that your past experiences or your personality are making it hard to hear what’ being said. Set clear and safe parameters for communication if you need to. Try to hear without needing to defend. Filter the message through others. See what the Bible has to say. Pray for God’s wisdom.