Harmony #78: Mary, Martha, and Jesus (John 11:55-12:11; Matthew 26:6-16; Mark 14:3-11; Luke 10: 38-42)

Have you heard the phrase, “Can’t see the forest for all of the trees?” Today’s passage has a lot of trees. We will look at them first, because those trees have something to offer, and then the forest, because the Big Picture matters.

Now the Jewish feast of Passover was near, and many people went up to Jerusalem from the rural areas before the Passover to cleanse themselves ritually. Thus they were looking for Jesus, and saying to one another as they stood in the temple courts,“What do you think? That he won’t come to the feast?” Now the chief priests and the Pharisees had given orders that anyone who knew where Jesus was should report it, so that they could arrest him.

Then, six days before the Passover, Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus lived, whom he had raised from the dead. While Jesus was in Bethany at the house of Simon the leper, they prepared a dinner for him there. Lazarus was among those present at the table with him. Martha was serving, distracted with all the preparations she had to make, while her sister Mary sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to what he said. Martha came up to him and said, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do all the work alone? Tell her to help me.”

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things, but one thing is needed. Mary has chosen the best part; it will not be taken away from her.”

This incident apparently happens after Lazarus was raised from the dead. Martha is doing what anyone would do who had a distinguished guest: seeking to honor him by taking care of him. I mean, HE RAISED HER BROTHER FROM THE DEAD.

This was crucial. When Jesus talks with her, his approach suggests he is not mad or scolding. He may even be saying, “I see how much you are worried about honoring me well.” Mary “chose the best part,” as if what Martha chose was good, but not the highest good in that moment.[1]

Today, we might reference a personality test or a love language test to explain their different responses to Jesus. “Oh, Martha is acts of service. Mary is quality time.” Jesus, who knows how to love well, speaks their love language.  What did Jesus give Mary? Quality time. What did and will Jesus give Mary in raising Lazarus and dying on the cross? Acts of service. So I don’t think this is a blanket criticism of Martha. There’s something about the moment, the timing, the opportunity right in front of her.

I wonder if this has something to tell us about “be with” Jesus contrasted with “do for” Jesus. Both are good, but neither is a template for every moment. In that moment, it was better to “be with.”

We must remember that there is a place for “be with” and “do for” as we follow Jesus. Both honor Jesus. Both have an important place. We want to be with Jesus and live for Jesus, right? He’s going to give all the disciples marching orders when he leaves; he’s already sent them out on short missions. “Do for” is a good thing, but it’s not the only thing, and it can’t be isolated from “be with.”

It’s hard not to judge when we see others leaning into one approach when we really like the other. Martha thinks Mary should be “doing for” Jesus just like her, but that wasn’t true. Mary was in the right place. It’s easy to think the focus we choose (doing or being) is THE RIGHT WAY FOR EVERYBODY, but…we don’t know that to be true.


Sometimes, I need to do things for my wife: the dishes, put away my laundry, fix that sink, make smoked wings for the Ohio State game, give her my receipts from Menards so we can get that 11% back. Sometimes, I need to just be with her: watching The Great British Bake-off together, going on a date, collecting rocks at Point Betsie, going to the fair, watching Florida State football so she has a shoulder to cry on.

Both matter.

“Be with” and “do for” are intertwined when you love somebody. So, I think Mary and Martha show us two legitimate responses to Jesus. I wish I knew where to land this plane, but I don’t. Maybe this is a good topic to pursue during lunch today.

Then Mary came with an alabaster jar[2] of three quarters of a pound of expensive aromatic oil from pure nard.[3]After breaking open the jar, she poured it on his head[4] and anointed his feet, as Jesus was at the table. She then wiped his feet dry with her hair. (Now the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfumed oil.)

The Jewish people put nard on those who died to mask the smell, because there was a process of interring the body that lasted long enough to make you want to use nard. In the next paragraph, Jesus will affirm that she was, indeed, preparing him for his burial.[5]

Worth noting: nard in an alabaster jar like this was shipped in from a place that harvested (?) the nard before bottling it and sealing it. This bottle cost a year’s average wages. This bottle represented a plan for someone in the family of Mary. I wonder if it was what they had planned to use for Lazarus, but then didn’t need to. Or… Jesus will say shortly of Mary, “She did what she could.” I wonder if this was set aside for her?

And wiping his feet with her hair? It was unheard of for a Jewish woman to let her hair down in public, let alone wash the feet of a man not her husband, let alone with her hair. There is something going on here, but I am still working on this. This is the second time a woman has dried Jesus’ feet with her hair. (Luke 7)[6]

Whatever the case, Mary communicated something important: she believed Jesus when he said he was going to die. I doubt she anticipated crucifixion, as Jesus was not a Zealot, but she may have been connecting the dots and concluding that she wouldn’t be able to do this later. As Jesus points out, she was honoring him while she could.

Out of love, honor and the knowledge that “the end” was near for Jesus, she offered the lock of her hair with willing abandon to the one who is about to die in order to win the battle on behalf of a world that God loves. Bless the Lord.

But some who were present indignantly said to one another, “Why this waste of expensive ointment? It could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor!” So they spoke angrily to her. Judas Iscariot, one of his disciples (the one who was going to betray him) said, “Why wasn’t this oil sold for three hundred silver coins and the money given to the poor?” (Now Judas said this not because he was concerned about the poor, but because he was a thief. As keeper of the money box, he used to steal what was put into it.)

When Jesus learned of this, he said to them, “Leave her alone. Why are you bothering her? She has done a good service for me. For you will always have the poor with you,[7] and you can do good for them whenever you want. You will not always have me! She did what she could. When she poured this oil on my body, she did it to anoint my body beforehand and prepare me for the day of my burial. I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is proclaimed in the whole world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.”

In Matthew’s account of this story, Jesus had just taught them about reward and punishment related to caring for the needy (25:3146). He concluded with, “Whatever you do to the least of these you do to me.” So it makes sense this was in the front of the disciple’s minds.

Jesus’ response pointed them back to the Torah. They were commanded to take care of the poor; Deuteronomy 15 uses the exact phrase Jesus used. This would probably remind them of not just all the teaching in Deuteronomy 15, but of all the times God told his people to care for the poor. It was baked into the rhythm of their lives. In fact, if they did everything the Old Testament commanded, it would be difficult for someone to remain poor in Israel.

  • debts were forgiven every 7 years (Deuteronomy 15)

  • land was returned every 50 years (Leviticus 25)

  • food was shared (Proverbs 22:9)

  • indebted servants were set free with provision after 7 years (Deuteronomy 15)

  • the edges of their fields were left for the poor to harvest (Leviticus 23:22)

  • fields were unplanted every 7 years so the poor could harvest volunteer plants (Leviticus 25)

  • they were to “open their hand wide” to the poor (Deuteronomy 15:11)

  • they were to practice generous giving (Psalm 37:21; Proverbs 14:21)

Bottom line: the disciples were not wrong in principle,[8] but in this moment they were wrong in practice. If Mary was preparing him for burial, she should not be criticized any more than we would criticize someone for purchasing a coffin for a loved one, even though there are poor that could be fed with that money.

Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over.

This is when Judas snaps. Different people have offered different reasons since the text leaves space to fill in the blanks.

  • I noted last week that I suspect Judas was looking to spark an insurrection. Jesus has apparently resigned himself to die. Dead men can’t be kings. Let’s get this king on the throne before he dies!  Time to start the fight!

  • Or….Judas knows Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead. Huge crowds were there because the word had gotten out. Maybe Judas thought there was nothing to worry about. Get the fight started; Jesus will be fine!

  • Or… Judas betrayed Jesus because he had stopped believing in him. Something about what happened here convinced him not to back Jesus anymore.

 Whatever the reason, it’s interesting that this is incident that is the last straw for Judas. Meanwhile, the 30 pieces of silver he received has precedence.

  • Exodus 21 demands this as payment if a slave is gored to death by a bull. So, perhaps we could think of this as the Sadducees giving Judas recompense for the person they are about to kill.

  • 30 pieces of silver was also the wage paid to the reliable shepherd of God’s people in Zechariah 11,[9] a passage that also talks about throwing the money to a potter. Hmmm. 

These Old Testament connections are, in fact, both true.  Jesus is a duolos, a servant or slave depending on the translation you use. 

[Jesus], being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant/slave (duolos), being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross! (Philippians 2) 

And, Jesus is a shepherd. 

“I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.” (John 10:14-15) 

Alright, let’s step back from the trees and look at the forest. There is this nagging voice in my head that insists there is a contrast going on, not of a good and bad thing but of a good and better thing. I’m not quite sure how to put words to it.

  • The place for the practical (Martha) and the prophetic (Mary)

  • The practice of stewardship by fasting (taking care of the poor) and feasting (honoring and celebrating)

  • The ‘do for’ (Martha) and the ‘be with’ (Mary)

  • Prudence (provision budgeted for charity) and extravagance (provision budgeted for honoring)

I wonder if we are supposed to be reminded that in the midst of a discipleship that is often characterized by prudence and the stewardship of fasting that includes setting up a budget from which we give generously from our resources to those in need, there is always going to be a place in the Kingdom of God for extravagant honor.[10] 

In this case, we see it bestowed on Jesus, and rightfully so. In Mary’s case, it’s an act of worship for Jesus. The King will be honored as a King. Bless the Lord with the best that you have. We can’t honor the physical Jesus like Mary did, but surely this challenges us to ask ourselves if Jesus is honored by the worshipful sacrifices that we do give.

I wonder if we are supposed to be thinking about how to honor the children of the King, too. We can become so caught up in fixing what’s broken in the world that we forget to celebrate what’s right in the world. Like Mary and Martha, this is not either/or. It’s both/and.  

God wants his people to learn how to honor what is good through celebration. God wants his people to know how to throw a righteous party that reminds people that they are precious, valuable and loved, not only by God but by God’s people.

  • When I turned 50, friends threw me a party that was wonderfully extravagant. I still think about it. I have posters on my wall from it.

  • I have helped friends with projects this summer, and they paid me wages that made me consider that I had undervalued myself.

  • I have friends who bless us from their abundance by letting us stay for free in a wonderful Air B and B that brings us rest.

Helping those who are financial impoverish matters. Generous charity should be baked into the rhythm of our lives. But at times, extravagant celebration can be huge for those who are emotionally and mentally impoverished, struggling with all kinds of inner battles, desperately needing provision and rest of a different kind.

It’s the one to whom Jesus said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” The Holy Spirit ministers in ways we never could; sometimes, gifts that cost time and money remind people that they matter not just in God’s eyes but in the eyes of God’s people. And some days, that’s a game changer, maybe even a life saver.

During our potluck, let’s feast together today in a way that shows the depth and breadth of God’s provision. Let the abundance of food remind us that we all need to experience an abundance of honor, or friendship, of community that reminds us constantly of the value of the imago dei, the image of God in us all.

_________________________________________________________________

[1] “Chosen the good part—not in the general sense of Moses' choice (Heb 11:25), and Joshua's (Jos 24:15), and David's (Ps 119:30); that is, of good in opposition to bad; but, of two good ways of serving and pleasing the Lord, choosing the better.” (Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentary)

[2] “The vessel is likely a long-necked flask made of translucent, finely carved stone standing some five to ten inches high. The perfume is pure nard (see Mark 14:3John 12:3), an oil extracted from the root of the nard plant grown in India. This is not a typical household oil for anointing, but an expensive perfume oil used for a solemn and special act of devotion. By breaking the flask Mary…is performing the highest act of consecration to Jesus, even to the anointing of his feet (cf. John 12:3).” (Zondervan Illustrated Bible Backgrounds of the New Testament)

[3] An average year’s wages.

[4] “Such long-necked containers have been found in tombs from this period near Jerusalem; people apparently lavished the ointment on deceased loved ones. This expensive perfume may have been planned for a funeral, either a future one or one canceled because of Jesus’ healing ministry. Providing a guest with oil to anoint his head could be simple courtesy, but one could also anoint a king in this way (2Ki 9:6).” (NIV Cultural Backgrounds Study Bible)

[5] “The anointing…"prepares" him for his burial after dying the death of a criminal, for only in that circumstance would the customary anointing of the body be omitted.” (Expositor’s Bible Commentary) 

[6] Because so much of Jesus’ life and teaching refers back to the Old Testament, here’s a thought. Judges records that after a woman named Jael killed the Canaanite general who was attacking Israel, the Israelites defeated Canaan. The judge at the time, Deborah, and her general, Barak, wrote this song: “When the locks of the women are long in Israel, when the people offer themselves with willing abandon - bless the LORD!  –Judges 4:18–5:2”  Read more at “Extravagant Worship: Mary Washing Jesus’ Feet.” Fruitfullywomen.com

[7] “There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your fellow Israelites who are poor and needy in your land.” (Deuteronomy 15:11)

[8] This is how one of the early Church Fathers thought of this scenario. “If anyone had asked Christ before the woman did this, He would not have approved it. But after she had done it, He looks only to the gift itself. For after the fragrant oil had been poured, what good was a rebuke? Likewise, if you should see anyone providing a sacred vessel or ornament for the walls of the church, do not spoil his zeal. But if beforehand he asks about it, command him to give instead to the poor.” (John Chrysostom, quoted in the Orthodox Study Bible)

[9] I told them “If you think it best, give me my pay; but if not, keep it.” So they paid me thirty pieces of silver. And the Lord said to me, “Throw it to the potter”—the handsome price at which they valued me! So I took the thirty pieces of silver and threw them to the potter at the house of the Lord.” (Zechariah 11: 12-13)

[10] I’m thinking now of Ecclesiastes: “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born, to die, to plant, to uproot, to kill, to heal, to tear down, to build, to weep, to laugh, to mourn, to dance, to scatter stones, to gather them, to embrace, to refrain from embracing, to search, to give up, to keep, to throw away, to tear, to mend, to be silent, to speak, to love, to hate, for war and for peace.”