(Message by Julie Elliott-Eickenroth)
Well, to jump right in … this has been a rather challenging message to work through and share with you. The title is: “Love Enough for the Last Days”. Some of you who know me, you are probably familiar with that phrase. :) I’ll share more about that in a minute.
The subtitle could be “Making it to the finish line together.” OR: “Fighting for our love”. This is actually a message I’ve carried a passion for, for over 30+ years. Now more than ever. I feel quite vulnerable about sharing this word. All I ask is that you pray for me that I’ll be able to reflect the heart of God as best I can and stick with me to the end on this one.
You may remember a month or so ago when Anthony shared his distress that our church could fracture over the clash of political views in this volatile and polarizing season we are in. It was a sad and sobering moment, wasn’t it? Maybe a little scary even. I was pretty heartbroken, both at the thought of how Anthony as our shepherd was hurting, and also how many of you are hurting.
I was encouraged, however, when I walked into MessagePlus that morning and saw the room was packed to the walls. Clearly this is something that people are worried about and wanted to talk about it. And so we did.
I am so thankful for M+ and for Anthony and our elders and others in our church family who set the example for us of what healthy, authentic and honest faith community can look like. Even when it feels scary, hopefully we can get through it together, right?
Anyway, when Anthony gave that message, God awoke in me again an intense urgency to sound an alarm - to strongly admonish us as a faith family to be aware of the very real dangers in these increasingly perilous times — if we don’t make a concentrated effort to learn to deal with this well.
It seems like one of the most volatile issue right now centers around our politics and cultural issues. Social media in particular, while it can be a fantastic forum for connection and healthy debate, to give a voice to the voiceless and vulnerable, and raise the alarm about injustice and corruption … can also be a toxic soup, a snare for our souls, a bottomless pit into which we may fall and disappear into unpleasant conflict.
Personally it’s quite a challenging place for me to navigate, for a long list of reasons. A lot of our younger generations have grown up on social media, it’’s their native habitat, and they seem to navigate it with ease. I, on the other hand, often find it distressing, confusing, and overwhelming. I have been working on discerning and respecting my own limits with social media. Not an easy process, by any means.
Most of all, it can be a flash point for offense that can threaten to blow apart our relationships and communities. The intense stress of our times —-politics, culture wars, etc.) is an absolute pressure cooker for offense. So how do we love each other — really love each other — in times like these?
Because the stakes are high and this matters.
Here’s some context first … the “love enough” story. Some of you have heard me tell this story as I said. I hope it doesn’t bore you that I bring this up for the umpteenth time, but be patient with me. I feel it bears urgent repeating as many times as I can get it out of my mouth. Now more than ever before.
Over 30 years ago, God gave me a phrase: “love enough for the last days”. Out of nowhere, He just dropped it in my spirit like a bombshell. I wondered what it meant. Was it a book title or something? Over the ensuing years, God has faithfully imparted insight and understanding, leading right up to now, when it seems we really need it.
When we hear the phrase “last days”, it probably conjures up a lot of feelings, images, beliefs, controversy. My kids could tell you the impact those words had on their growing up years. Alot of us grew up in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, hearing lots of sermons about the “last days”, the “endtimes”, the rapture … differing interpretations, predictions, all delivered with a breathless “it could happen any moment” urgency … it was exciting, bewildering, joyful, and dreadfully scary, all at the same time.
Let me pause here and be very clear: I do not study or teach eschatology (study of the endtimes). I have neither the skill nor the interest in parsing endtimes doctrine. That is for better scholars than me. For what it’s worth, I’m pretty sure Jesus’ return is “soon”. It could be tomorrow, could be a 100 years from now. Whenever that is, the Word says repeatedly that we must be ‘sober and alert’ to the times and guard our hearts as the day of His coming approaches.
So for me, it’s not about timelines, it’s about finish lines. Here’s why.
About that same time God dropped that “love enough” phrase in my heart, He also directed my attention to Matthew 24:10,12:
10 At that time many will fall away and will betray one another and hate one another. 11 Many false prophets will arise and will mislead many. 12 Because lawlessness [Iniquity] is increased, most people’s love will grow cold. 13 But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
The Amplified Bible says it this way:
(AMP) 10 At that time many will be offended and repelled [by their association with Me] and will fall away [from the One whom they should trust] and will betray one another [handing over believers to their persecutors] and will hate one another … 12 Because lawlessness is increased, the love of most people will grow cold.”
This passage is talking about Christians, not unbelievers. As the chaos and lawlessness and sin increase all around us, we see things that dishearten us, frighten us … death and destruction all around us — baffling, shocking things we can’t get our heads around. As these things happen, we will be tempted to become deeply offended. Offended with God. Offended with each other. And when we’re offended, we may betray one another.
So here comes the TRAP.
Offense, and the judgments the inevitably seem to result, are the enemy of our soul’s primary strategy for blowing up our relationships and tempting us to forsake one another. The word “judge” in the Greek - “krino” means to “try, condemn and punish”.
Think of a courtroom scene in your brain … the act of judging can be a lightning quick process in our mind … essentially, we put the person we’re offended with “on trial” in our mind. We create a narrative about them, most often finding them “guilty” (condemning them), then instead of responding to the person, we respond to the narrative in our mind. Over and over and over.
Then we “punish” … what does punishment look like?
Well, it can be aggressive, in-your-face punishment — talking smack about them to others, something overt like getting in their face, maybe more extreme like, God forbid, yelling, insulting, or physically assaulting them.
More often than not, though, we simply move away … we ABANDON THE RELATIONSHIP. We leave a friendship. We leave a church. We may not even physically “leave” a church or friendship, but we let our hearts grow cold.
I call it “cold love” — we Christians are good at “smiling and lying”. Love in name only, while inside our hearts, real warmth, respect, affection have grown cold and distant. Our hearts harden. Relationships fracture. Community crumbles. You know this is true. Most of us have seen this a thousand times in the church. We saw a LOT of it during the pandemic. Tons of people leaving each other.
We need a love strong enough — tender enough — to navigate the last days a loyal, non-negotiable love that refuses to give up, refuses to let go of relationships. The good news is, God doesn’t just warn us — He shows us in His Word how to fight for our love. The true Gospel is not weak - its message of love is the MOST bold, the most challenging, the most muscular, the most resilient … but rarely do we test the strength of love through biblical peacemaking.
Stress from these intense times can make us brittle — less patient, less gracious. We can harden our hearts or keep them tender. Which will it be? Each one of us has a responsibility to pursue peace … not as a vague Christian notion, but in specific, biblically mandated ways.
Romans 12:18: If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people.
These are what I call the two “bookend” scriptures for peacemaking:
Matthew 5:23-24: "If you’re at the altar and remember your brother has something against you, go reconcile first."
Matthew 18:15: "If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.”
By the way, to “point out the offense”, or “show someone their fault”, as other translations say, is also known as a “godly rebuke”. That sounds harsh, but you may be surprised to find it actually means (in the original language) , “to set a value upon”. You reflect back to the person the impact of their actions on you.
So what is the common denominator between those two verses? The common denominator is GO.
You either GO or you LET IT GO.
Jesus told us to GO - whether it is we who caused the offense, or to reflect back to our brother or sister their offense..The goal here is not to condemn or accuse or vilify — the goal is reconciliation and a deepening of love and understanding.
Eph. 4:11-16 - “11 So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12 to equip His people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure (standard) of the fullness of Christ.
unity in our faith - not unity in our faith in politicians or policies
unity in our knowledge of the Son of God - not in our knowledge of politics and current cultural issues
the goal is mature love that will not yield. It doesn’t mean everything has to be sweetness and light … or that hard differences cannot be acknowledged.
It is steadfast love and hope that help us manage our own hearts in the midst of unresolved tension.
1 Corinthians 13:7 - “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Back to Ephesians:
14 Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. 15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of Him Who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.”
My favorite phrase: “Speaking truth in love, we grow up …”
Most of us avoid confrontation because we think it’s painful or awkward or it’s going to be mean. The word “confrontation” itself is scary, full of dread. You get a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach thinking about it. Don’t think of conflict resolution as “confrontation”. What if “conflict resolution” is the path to deeper love? What if courageous peacemaking is how we keep our hearts tender and deeply connected to one another?”
PRACTICAL STEPS. As always, God’s ways aren’t just nice religious ideas. He wants us to put heart and feet to our faith. So here are some practical ideas for managing our hearts with regard to these intense times … thinking about the idea of managing ourselves with powerful and volatile social media:
• If social media is your preferred method of engaging with the culture on topics you are passionate about, carefully craft the language that most honestly expresses your heart, while also considering personal relationships and possible impact on your faith community.
This is probably the toughest balancing act for the Christian… balancing expressions of personal conscience vs. wise restraint of our personal liberty. The Bible actually acknowledges and respects the grey areas of personal conscience. Many more nuances regarding liberty of conscience there than you may realize. Romans 14 is a wonderful chapter for guidance on this matter.
• If you find yourself becoming offended by people who differ from you sharing their views on social media - and in this case, especially if they are someone in your own church or local community - I suggest you may need to take proactive steps to stop seeing their posts. Either mute or block them or take yourself off social media — but NOT to judge and dismiss them or withdraw your heart and abandon the relationship.
This is the critically important part. Simply determine to tightly hold love and respect for them without going down the road of judging their heart, their motives, etc. And when in doubt about having the conversation, ask for input from trusted wise friends/mentors, pastor/elders, etc.
Either way, whether your are expressing yourself on social media, or you are the person viewing others’ posts, do this for two outcomes: to guard your own heart and to protect the love you have for your fellow brother or sister.
• 3-for-3 Dinners: I really encourage us to dive into this 3-for3 dinner idea. This is a great chance to get to know people in the context of their real lives and for them to get to know you.
Intentionally invite people with whom you may have differences.
BAN discussion of politics - at least at first - in favor of building real connection.
See them in context, not just as opinions. Ask about their growing up years,
where they went to school, their hobbies or favorite books or movies, why they
chose the career they did. Play with their kids, learn their names. Pet the dog.
• Ask for Help: Again, if a peacemaking conversation feels too big or scary, lean on elders or other peacemakers in the church. You don’t have to do it alone!
>> Caveat about conflict resolution: This does not necessarily apply to relationships that may be unsafe. Again, seek wise counsel if you’re unsure.
• This week, pick one relationship strained by differences. Be courageous … take one step — coffee, a dinner, a conversation — and fight for love.
Let’s make it to the finish line together.
Prayer: Ask God to soften our hearts, give us courage for peacemaking, and strengthen our love so we can all make it to the finish line together.