Some time afterward Jesus went on through towns and villages, preaching and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him, and also some women who had been healed of evil spirits and disabilities: Mary (called Magdalene), from whom seven demons had gone out, and Joanna the wife of Cuza (Herod’s household manager), Susanna, and many others who provided for them out of their own resources.
Now Jesus went home, and a crowd gathered so that they were not able to eat. When his family heard this they went out to restrain him, for the people were saying, “He is out of his mind.”[1] While Jesus was still speaking to the crowds, his mother and brothers came. Standing outside, they could not get near him because of the crowd, so they sent word to him, to summon him, asking to speak to him.
Someone told Jesus, “Look, your mother and your brothers are standing outside wanting to see you and speak to you.” To the one who had said this, Jesus replied, “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” And looking at his disciples who were sitting around him in a circle, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers!
For whoever hears the word of God and does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”[2]
The Jewish people thought that they were spiritually "safe" because they had descended from Abraham. John records at one point they reminded Jesus, "Abraham is our father,” as if this blood lineage was all that mattered. Jesus’ reply to them lines up with what he said in this passage:
“If you are Abraham’s children, do the deeds of Abraham." (John 8:39)
Their deeds would demonstrate that they were spiritual children of Abraham, just as Jesus is telling them now that his spiritual family will be known by their deeds.[3] As he noted elsewhere,
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father Who is in heaven will enter.” (Matthew 7:21)
“Both the one who makes people holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters.” (Hebrews 2:11)
When we surrender our lives to Jesus as Lord, we become “joint heirs” with Jesus (Romans 8:17; 10:9–10), into whose image we will be continuously transformed (2 Corinthians 3:18). Our heavenly Father wants His children to bear a family resemblance.[4]
We often talk about this as “knowing people by their fruits.” When we are all on the same tree, bearing fruit from the same root, grafted into the same vine (John 15; Romans 11), we are in a new family that takes precedence over any other allegiance or relationship. John Phillips writes of this change of status in this way:
"The natural family was being replaced by the new family. Anybody could become related to Him in a family tie that was nearer and dearer than any forged by natural birth. Natural ties would be swallowed up in spiritual ties. Henceforth, He would regard anyone who had the same relationship with His Father as He had as being in the new family.”
It’s not that we ignore our household, of course. The stark contrast Jesus made in the passage we read was a typical Jewish way of making a point (just like “hating your parents” for the sake of God was about priorities.[5]) It means your obedience as a child of your heavenly Father takes priority over any other kind of allegiance.[6]
In an honor/shame culture that highly prized family loyalty and honor, Jesus makes a very unsettling point: those who follow him receive a new spiritual family, with intimacy and allegiance that transcends even ties to those in our household.[7] His family becomes our family, and our allegiance to him as Father and to his other children as siblings must come before all earthly allegiances.[8]
This isn’t to say those who are not followers of Jesus don’t matter. There is plenty of other Scripture that tells us how to interact with all of humanity, because everyone bears the image of God. All have value, worth and dignity; we are commanded to love all people well. I like how Adam Clarke says it:
“The revelation of God, and of all the ordinances and precepts contained in it - they are all calculated to do man good: to improve his understanding, to soften and change his nature, that he may love his neighbour as himself. That religion that does not [infuse] and produce humanity never came from heaven.” (Adam Clarke)
So, yes, do good to all people. Jesus is simply making the point here that followers of Jesus are in a unique category, united by Jesus and filled with the Holy Spirit. This covenant with God and his family now forms us and orders our lives above all else.
I am reading at length now from Ephesians 2: 11-22. I need to make this point clearly, because we are going to land hard on this.
So never forget how you used to be. Those of you born as outsiders to Israel [Gentiles] were outcasts, branded “the uncircumcised” by those who bore the sign of the covenant in their flesh, a sign made with human hands.
You had absolutely no connection to Jesus; you were strangers, separated from God’s people. You were aliens to the covenant they had with God; you were hopelessly stranded without God in a fractured world. But now, because of Jesus the Anointed and His sacrifice, all of that has changed.
God gathered you who were so far away and brought you near to Him by the royal blood Jesus, our Liberating King. He is the embodiment of our peace, sent once and for all to take down the great barrier of hatred and hostility that has divided us so that we can be one.
He offered His body on the sacrificial altar to bring an end to the law’s ordinances and dictations that separated Jews from the outside nations. His desire was to create in His body one new humanity from the two opposing groups, thus creating peace.
Effectively the cross becomes God’s means to kill off the hostility once and for all so that He is able to reconcile them both to God in this one new body. The Great Preacher of peace and love came for you, and His voice found those of you who were near and those who were far away. By Him both have access to the Father in one Spirit.
And so you are no longer called outcasts and wanderers but citizens with God’s people, members of God’s holy family, and residents of His household. You are being built on a solid foundation: the message of the prophets and the voices of God’s chosen emissaries with Jesus, the Anointed Himself, the precious cornerstone.
The building is joined together stone by stone—all of us chosen and sealed in Him, rising up to become a holy temple in the Lord. In Him you are being built together, creating a sacred dwelling place among you where God can live in the Spirit.
* * * * *
Jesus teaches love for the neighbors within one’s own family (Matthew 15:4–9; 19:19); he also insists that commitment to him and his mission must exceed all others (Matthew 8:21–22; 10:34–39). [9] The reality of this new family has implications.
When we talk about fellow Christians in any variety of circumstances, we are talking about not just our brothers and sisters in the most important sense of the word, but we are talking about the brothers and sisters of Jesus. So we must speak with care. And love. And honor. We must practice hospitality of head, heart and hands.
I’m about to make you uncomfortable as I challenge us to live as family in 5 areas that tend to dominate the cultural headlines. There are surely more issues that could be addressed. I don’t have time; these are the current hot topics. This same sermon 20 years ago or 20 years from now would be different.
I spent a lot of time this week praying and considering how to say this perfectly, and quickly realized that I won’t. I just need to say it. I pray it’s truth in love, and that the Holy Spirit translates the spirit of my heart and words for you wherever I fail.
We have brothers and sisters in Christ who are Democrats, Republicans, Libertarians, etc. We have brothers and sisters in Christ who voted differently than us, who align themselves on the other side of the political aisle. In our building today, this is true. Jesus’ followers ranged from the passive, withdrawn Essenes (John the Baptist) to the militaristic Zealots (Simon the Zealot). Depending on how much his other disciples were influenced by the Rome-cozy Sadducees or the Law-loving Pharisees, they had huge differences. He called them all and loved them all. What or who will primarily disciple us in how we should think, feel and talk about those across the aisle from us; who will tell us how should we act toward them? God forbid Joe Biden or Donald Trump direct my steps any more than the voice of Herod would have held sway in the early church. The voice of Jesus should drown out the voices in the empire; the example of Jesus calling his closest group from the political opposites should tell us something. What does Jesus say and model about how to love each other well in the midst of differences?
We have brothers and sisters in Christ who still disagree about how we should have and are responding to COVID, from shutdowns to masks to vaccines. We have brothers and sisters in Christ who are anti-vax and pro-vax, who still wear masks and who never did. That’s true around the world, and it’s true in this room. This isn’t about policy; this is more foundational than that. What or who will primarily disciple us in how we think, feel, and act toward our brothers and sisters? Jesus gets to set the table about how to love each other well in the midst of our disagreements and differing decisions. Neither the CDC nor that naturopathic health website are my brother and sister in Christ. You are. And if neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, will separate us from the love of God,[10] than it should take more than disagreements about masks or shots to separate us from the love designed to be found within the community of our brothers and sisters in Christ.
We have brothers and sisters in Christ who have immigrated to this country legally and illegally. I’m not here to make a political point or recommend policy; it’s just a fact. 61% of legal immigrants identify as Christian, which is about the same of the U.S. population. 83% of illegal immigrants identify as Christians.[11] Regardless of how we feel about it, we have brothers and sisters in Christ who are crossing the borders into our nation within the system and outside the system. In addition, we have brothers and sisters in Christ who live in border states that are at times overwhelmed with the needs of immigrants, and even they at time have sharply different views on how to respond. What or who will primarily disciple us in how brothers and sisters of Jesus should think, feel and talk about those in this situation? God forbid politicians and activists from the Right or the Left set the agenda for how we can best be ambassadors for Jesus. There is no way youtube personalities and talk show hosts from the Right or the Left should be taking the lead in shaping how we think about our brothers and sisters in Christ on either side of the border and in or outside of the government’s system. Jesus gets to tell us. Surely there is a rigorous and important discussion to have about policies. Law and order and mercy and grace are not enemies of each other. But I’m not talking here about policies. This is about grounding our hearts and minds before we ever start that discussion in the fact that the blood of Jesus has paid the price to draw all of our brothers and sisters in this discussion into his family.
We have brothers and sisters in Christ who have very different opinions about how to respond to our country’s legacy of slavery, Jim Crow and racism. I have heard Christian voices I respect talk about how unhelpful Black Lives Matter and Critical Race Theory have been to bringing truth and peace, and I have heard Christian voices I respect tell me how important Black Lives Matter has been and how crucial CRT is to addressing and righting injustice. (A lot of that has to do with how we are defining the terms, but that’s a discussion for another time). We have brothers and sisters in Christ on both sides of this issue. Are these important discussions to have on the way to discerning what is true and just? Absolutely. But what or who will primarily disciple us in how we should think and feel about those with whom we disagree? Jesus gets the lead in this. Remember: we are part of what Paul called a “new humanity,” members in a family made possible by Jesus overwhelming the very real and daunting social and cultural barriers between His brothers and sisters. This family envelops every tribe, nation and tongue having this discussion, unifying us all without erasing our distinctiveness, which is all part of the beautiful kaleidoscope of humanity that God himself ordained. Jesus at the center is far more important than those with agendas and bullhorns on the fringes.
We have brothers and sisters in Christ who are struggling with gender identity. I’ve talked with them. They love Jesus. They aren’t trying to shake their fist at God or be rebellious. They are bearing a burden they did not ask to bear, yet there it is. What or who will primarily disciple us in how we should think, feel and act concerning our brothers and sisters in this situation? I don’t know everything about this topic, but I know one thing: any voice that pushes God’s people away from those wrestling with this kind of issue is not a voice inspired by the Holy Spirit. I’m watching the battle lines being drawn in our culture and wondering, “Dear God, where are the spiritual medics, the representatives of the Great Physician, the ones walking into tense and confusing situations with sacrificial, loving lives filled with truth, grace, and hope? Our brothers and sisters who need us to be faithfully present are watching us to see if we will be. Based on what they see, they will either hide at best or run at worst, or they will stay in fellowship with thus as we all walk together, following Jesus, to a place of healing and restoration. We represent the Jesus who saves, delivers and heals, not the activists who demand we get our knuckles bloody in the latest culture war front.
Does the mean we all shut up to get along? No. It means we use language in conversation that is like apples of gold on plates of silver. [12] Does this mean we have to act like everybody is right in their opinions on these issues? Of course not. Some things are true and some things are not. But in many cases, the journey to truth is complex and tricky, and it needs to be done in committed, care-filled community.
What is at stake here?
(John 17:20-23) “I do not pray for these alone, but also for those who will believe in Me through their word; that they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us, that the world may believe that You sent Me.
And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one: I in them, and You in Me; that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that You have sent Me, and have loved them as You have loved Me.
The loving unity of the church is meant to represent the loving unity of God, so that the world may know who Jesus is, and how much he loves us. This isn’t Anthony making this connection; it’s Jesus himself making this connection.
* * * * *
So how do we ‘practice righteousness’[13] for our good and God’s glory even as God continues to do the supernatural work of refining and maturing us? The phrase "one another" occurs 100 times in the New Testament, along with other passages clearly teaching us how to love one another well to the glory of God and the magnification of the love of Jesus.[14]
· Do not lie to one another (Colossians 3:9)
· Stop passing judgment on one another (Romans 14:13)
· If you keep on biting and devouring each other...you'll be destroyed by each other (Galatians 5:15)
· Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other (Galatians 5:26)
· Do not slander one another (James 4:11)
· Don't grumble against each other (James 5:9)
· Love one another (John 13:34 + 16 more)
· Be devoted to one another (Romans 12:10)
· Honor one another above yourselves (Romans 12:10)
· Live in harmony with one another (Romans 12:16)
· Build up one another (Romans 14:19; 1 Thessalonians 5:11)
· Be likeminded towards one another (Romans 15:5)
· Accept one another (Romans 15:7)
· Admonish one another (Romans 15:14; Colossians 3:16)
· Greet one another (Romans 16:16)
· Care for one another (1 Corinthians 12:25)
· Serve one another (Galatians 5:13)
· Bear one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2)
· Forgive one another (Ephesians 4:2, 32; Colossians 3:13)
· Be patient with one another (Ephesians 4:2; Colossians 3:13)
· Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15, 25)
· Be kind and compassionate to one another (Ephesians 4:32)
· Submit to one another (Ephesians 5:21, 1 Peter 5:5)
· Consider others better than yourselves (Philippians 2:3)
· Look to the interests of one another (Philippians 2:4)
· Bear with one another (Colossians 3:13)
· Teach one another (Colossians 3:16)
· Comfort one another (1 Thessalonians 4:18)
· Encourage one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
· Exhort one another (Hebrews 3:13)
· Stir up [provoke, stimulate] one another to love and good works (Hebrews 10:24)
· Show hospitality to one another (1 Peter 4:9)
· Employ the gifts that God has given us for the benefit of one another (1 Peter 4:10)
· Clothe yourselves with humility towards one another (1 Peter 5:5)
· Pray for one another (James 5:16)
· Confess your faults to one another (James 5:16)
Are we committed to being the kind of family God intends for us to be? The kind of family that shows the world – and the families within our church – what it looks like to love each other relentlessly and well with the love God has shown us through Jesus?
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[1] “They deemed the zeal and daily devotion to His labor of love a sort of ecstasy or religious enthusiasm, which made Him no longer master of Himself. St Paul uses the word in this sense in 2 Corinthians 5:13: “If we are “out of our mind,” as some say, it is for God.” Compare the words of Festus to St Paul (Acts 26:24). (At this point Festus interrupted Paul’s defense. “You are out of your mind, Paul!” he shouted. “Your great learning is driving you insane.)” - Cambridge Bible For Schools And Colleges
[2] Many commentators note the absence of “father.” Perhaps it is because only God is his father; perhaps Joseph has died. Perhaps both. We do know that Joseph was not at his crucifixion either, so odds are good Joseph had died. Surely, Jesus understands our loss and grief.
[3] HT to Precept Austin for connecting these verses for me!
[4] Again, good thoughts from Precept Austin.
[5] “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:26)
[6] ESV Global Study Bible
[7] NIV Biblical Theology Study Bible
[8] IVP New Testament Commentary Series
[9] As found in the Matthew-Mentor Commentary
[10] Romans 8:39
[11] https://www.pewresearch.org/religion/2013/05/17/the-religious-affiliation-of-us-immigrants/
[12] Proverbs 25:11-12
[13] “And now, little children, abide in him, so that when he appears we may have confidence and not shrink from him in shame at his coming. If you know that he is righteous, you may be sure that everyone who practices righteousness has been born of him.” (1 John 2.28-29)
[14] HT to this site for compiling all these verses! https://www.mmlearn.org/hubfs/docs/OneAnotherPassages.pdf