Love (Advent)

1 John 4:7-21 Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been fathered by God and knows (has first hand acquaintance with[1]) God. Everyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.[2] By this the love of God is revealed within and made visible among us: that God has sent his one and only Son into the world so that we may live a life worthy of His name through him.  

10 In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.11 Beloved (divinely loves ones), if God so loved us, then we owe[3] love to one another. 12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God resides in us, and his love reaches its final, perfect goal in us.[4] 13 By this we know that we reside in God and he in us: in that he has given us of his Spirit.  

14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone professes/confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God resides in him and he in God. 16 And we have come to know and to believe[5] the love that God has in us. God is love, and the one who resides in love resides in God, and God resides in him.  

17 By this, love is brought to perfection within us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment, because just as Jesus is, so also are we in this world. 18 There is no fearful fleeing[6] in love, but perfect love – love that reaches the end goal - drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears the punishment of the day of judgment has not been perfected in love. 

 19 We love because he loved us first.20 If anyone says “I love God” and yet detests and devalues his fellow Christian, he is a liar, because the one who does not love his fellow Christian whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.21 And the commandment we have from him is this: that the one who loves God should love his fellow Christian too.

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During Advent, we talk a God who ‘put on flesh’ (incarnated) and became what John called an atoning sacrifice by taking the penalty for our sins against Him upon himself (John 3:16-17), thus bringing about peace. In many different places, the Bible is clear about why that happened: Jesus loves us (1 John 4:19; Romans 8:35-39; John 3;16, etc).  

This is pretty straightforward, but to understand what it means that God loves us, we have to understand what love is. So let’s talk this morning about how we get past our filters and misunderstandings to better appreciate God’s love for us and better pass on God’s love to others.

First, God’s love is supernaturally sourced. In the New Testament, the word for the love God has for us is the Greek word agape.[7] In the Greek literature we have recovered, there is very little use of this word because it wasn’t a kind of love they valued that highly. In the New Testament, agape is used 320 times. The church took a seldom used Greek word, refined it, and introduced a radical new way of understanding love in light of God’s love for us.[i] 

Agape love… is the most self-sacrificing love that there is.  This type of love is the love that God has for His own children. This type of love is what was displayed on the cross by Jesus Christ.  In John 3:16 it is written that “God so loved (agapao) the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.”[8] 

"Agape love is unconcerned with the self and concerned with the greatest good of another. Agape isn’t born just out of emotions, feelings, familiarity, or attraction but from the will and as a choice. Agape requires faithfulness, commitment, and sacrifice without expecting anything in return.” (Alyssa Roat)[9]

Second, we don’t have to earn it. God loves people: not because he needs us; not because we complete him; not because we are worthy, or lovable, or pure, or spiritually impressive; not because we please God or represent Him well. As one pastor noted,

While eros and philia thirst, agape simply overflows. This means – please stay with me here – that God’s love for us, in the end, has absolutely nothing to do with us. In other words, God does not love us because of who we are. Or because of what we do, or can do for God. Or because of what we say, or build, or accomplish, or change, or pray, or give, or profess, or believe… God simply loves us...[10]

When I pray regularly and passionately, God’s love does not fail. When I don’t, God’s love does not fail. When I was chained in sin and when I was freed; when I ignore Him and when I am enamored with Him; when I am depressed or happy, anxious or at peace, self-loathing of self-loving; when I pastor well and when I do it terribly; when I am loved by others and despised by others…

If you ever think, “How can God possibly love me? I’m a disaster,” take heart: God specializes in loving and saving disasters. God has never waited to love people until they were good enough to be loved. He loves people because He is that kind of God. And that gives me great hope indeed.

 Third, God’s love will never be seen perfectly in people. None of us are Jesus. Because of the work of the Holy Spirit in surrendered lives, we are being transformed into his image, and we are becoming more and more like Christ. But we won’t nail it until we are in Heaven, so on this side of eternity we will fail to adequately represent what the love of Jesus looks like. We have to be ready for this. We will inevitably distort the genuine nature of godly love, and so will others. I don’t mean to be depressing; I’m just trying to be honest. With God’s help, we will often represent God’s love well, but we will never be perfect.

That doesn’t bring me despair; that actually brings me hope. God’s love is better than even the best love that I have experienced when it comes to human love. God’s love is deeper, more faithful, more present, more life-changing, more holy and pure. Awesome. I love the glimpses I get from others, but I’m never going to mistake them for the fullness of the kind of love God has for me.

That gives me the freedom to see failure in others and not be disillusioned. It gives me the freedom to take people off a pedestal and let them be people instead of wishing they were perfect like God. And it gives me hope that people who do it so badly still bring such tremendous love into the world.  If there is this much good in a fallen Earth, I can’t imagine the goodness in the New Heaven and Earth.

Fourth, God’s love helps us love others well. Christ’s love was focused on us. As we become more like Christ, we will find that our live is focused on others.

·      “This is my command: (agape) each other.” (John 15:17)

·       “Anyone who does not (agape) does not know God, because God is (agape).” (1 John 4:8)

When we have trouble loving God or others well, we often focus on how to love better. That’s a good and necessary focus, but it’s the wrong starting point. We need to first refocus on the one who loves us. We need to experience and understand God’s love.

If a person is not loving, John says, he or she does not know God (1 John 4:8). How will that individual become more loving, then? Can we grow in love by trying to love more? No, our attempts to love will only end in more frustration and less love. The solution, John implies, is to know God better. This is so simple that we miss it all the time: our means for becoming more loving is to know God better. (Marva J. Dawn, Truly the Community: Romans 12) 

The fact is, I need God to help me love God. And if I need His help to love Him, a perfect being, I definitely need His help to love other, fault-filled humans. Something mysterious, even supernatural must happen in order for genuine love for God to grow in our hearts. (Francis Chan, Crazy Love)

“We are thirsty, thirsty people. We long to know that we have worth, and value, and beauty. We ache to belong, to be included. But we run around our whole lives going after the sorts of love which will never completely satisfy this thirst. But in Christ, in the agape love of God, we find a love, the only love, which can fill us, and satisfy us so that we find ourselves, now overflowing, finally able to also love in a way that no longer seeks to take, but only to give.

Yes, Jesus wants you to love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, all your strength. Jesus wants you to love your neighbors as you love yourself. He wants us to love with agape love. But if we try to love others, even God, like this without first realizing that we are already loved like this, all our efforts will only lead to despair. You see, agape love never flows from us. It only flows through us from the one who loves like we, on our own, never could.[11]

Fifth, love is costly. Paul talks about Jesus taking on humanity and “becoming obedient unto death, even a death on the cross” (Philippians 2:8). David said that he would not give God a sacrifice that cost him nothing (1 Chronicles 21:24).

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”  C.S. Lewis

 Love will be costly because it will break our hearts.  It will force us to walk into the hard work of life when all we want to do is wrap ourselves carefully with hobbies and luxuries and silence and entertainment and selfishness. 

  • I cannot love my wife without a cost to myself:  conversations about hard things; late nights and long days because of work, or household chores and juggling responsibilities; forgiveness. I can wrap up my heart, or I can be broken for my wife.

  • We cannot love our friends without a cost to ourselves.  Sometimes it’s messy (hurtful things said or done).  We can wrap up our hearts and never let them see us, or we can be vulnerable.

  • We cannot love our neighbors without a cost to ourselves. If my neighbors are far from Christ, then a lot of things they do, say and love will be far from Christ. Love – real love – will be costly as we get to know and understand, as we listen and love, as we speak truth with love and grace, and we seek to represent Christ and with humility and boldness surrounded by hospitality of head, heart and hands.

  • We cannot love the church, the body of Christ, without a cost.  We are not perfect people.  We will have to “bear each other’s burdens,” because we all bring burdens that other people will have to bear.  It is not a question of if.  It is a question of when.  Showing the kind of love to others that God showed to me demands something of my life.  Love is costly.

Jesus at times WEPT.  His heart was wrung out and broken. When we set out to love people with the love Christ showed to us, it will cost us something.  Like Paul said, there will be times we are poured out like an offering (Philippians 2:17).

Sixth, God’s love is transformational. The cost is only part of the story of love, and by itself, sounds hard.  But what love offers – what Christ offers -  in exchange for that cost is transformation. It’s tough to find one verse that encapsulates all the ways. Sharla Fritz compiled a list:[12]

1.    God’s love banishes fear1 John 4:18:  “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.”

2.    God’s love gives us strength against Satan’s attacks.  Psalm 59:10,17: “My God in his steadfast love will meet me; God will let me look in triumph on my enemies…O my Strength, I will sing praises to you, for you, O God, are my fortress, the God who shows me steadfast love.”

3.    God’s love helps us trust. Psalm 13:5: “But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.”

4.    God’s love leads us to contentment.  Psalm 90:14: “Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.”

5.    God’s love draws us to worship. Psalm 5:7: “But I, through the abundance of your steadfast love, will enter your house. I will bow down toward your holy temple in the fear of you.”

6.    God’s love enables us to stay on His path. “For your steadfast love is before my eyes, and I walk in your faithfulness” (Psalm 26:3).

7.    God’s love gives us the confidence to pray. Psalm 69:13: “But as for me, my prayer is to you, O Lord. At an acceptable time, O God, in the abundance of your steadfast love answer me in your saving faithfulness.”

8.    God’s love motivates us to obey. Psalm 106:7 tells us the reason for the Israelites’ rebellion: “Our fathers, when they were in Egypt, did not consider your wondrous works; they did not remember the abundance of your steadfast love, but rebelled by the sea, at the Red Sea.”

9.    God’s love helps us to love others. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another” (John 13:34).

If I were to summarize what that looks like on a personal level, it’s the exchange of the beauty Jesus brings for the ashes of our lives.

  • The disciples – from petty, self-centered cowards to martyrs

  • Mary Magdelene – from demon possessed (7!) to eyewitness to the Resurrection

  • Paul -  from persecutor to follower

Is there anything else that captures this transformative power of God’s love better than this commentary Paul offered on the church in Corinth:  “All these things you once were…” (1 Corinthians 6:11) he says after listing off the sins that had defined their lives.

And as we are transformed by the love of God, we transform things around us through the love that passes through us.

My marriage looks different when I love my family as Jesus loves me. My friendships change if I love my friends as Jesus loves me. This church changes when God’s love passes through me to you and permeates our relationships. My witness changes when I love everyone with the same kind of love Jesus showed me when I was dead in my sins.

When Jesus came, he offered LOVE, and in this love was the hope of transformation of the world that is also played out in individual lives all the time. It wasn’t some generic “Heal the World” campaign, it was a deeply personal offer to transform you into something new, and keep transforming you until you are perfected in eternity.

MERCY TREE (Lacey Sturm)

On a hill called Calvary, stands an endless Mercy Tree
Every broken weary soul -  find your rest and be made whole.                                       

Stripes of blood that stain its frame shed to wash away our shame
From the scars, pure love released, salvation by the Mercy Tree.

In the sky between two thieves hung the blameless Prince of Peace
Bruised and battered Scarred and scorned, Sacred head pierced by our thorns.               

"It is finished, " was His cry, the perfect lamb was crucified
His sacrifice, our victory - Our Savior chose the Mercy Tree

Hope went dark that violent day, the whole earth quaked at love's display
Three days silent in the ground, this body born for heaven's crown.                                   

 And on that bright and glorious day, when heaven opened up the grave
He's alive and risen indeed - Praise Him for the Mercy Tree!

Death has died, love has won Hallelujah!, Hallelujah!
Jesus Christ has overcome; He has risen from the dead!

One day soon, we'll see His face, and every tear, He'll wipe away
No more pain or suffering, oh praise Him for the Mercy Tree



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[1] HELPS Word Studies

[2] “From a grammatical standpoint this is not a proposition in which subject and predicate nominative are interchangeable (“God is love” does not equal “love is God”). (NET Bible)

[3] 3784 /opheílō ("owe") refers to being morally obligated (or legally required) to meet an obligation, i.e. to pay off a legitimate debt. [3784 (opheílō) "originally belonged to the legal sphere; it expressed initially one's legal and economic, and then later one's moral, duties and responsibilities to the gods and to men, or to their sacrosanct regulations. . . . opheílō expresses human and ethical responsibility in the NT" (DNTT, 2, 662.663).] – HELPS Word Studies

[4] 5048 teleióō – to consummate, reaching the end-stage, i.e. working through the entire process (stages) to reach the final phase (conclusion).  See 5056 (telos).

[This root (tel-) means "reaching the end (aim)." HELPS Word Studies

[5] “In the Gospel of John the two verbs frequently occur together in the same context, often in the same tense; examples may be found in John 6:698:31-3210:3814:7-10, and 17:8. They also occur together in one other context in 1 John, 4:1-2. Of these John 6:69 We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God!”, Peter’s confession, is the closest parallel to the usage here: “We have come to believe [πεπιστεύκαμεν] and to know [ἐγνώκαμεν] that you are the holy One of God.” It appears that the author considered both terms to describe a single composite action… describing an act of faith/belief/trust on the part of the individual; knowledge (true knowledge) is an inseparable part of this act of faith.” (NET Bible)

[6] Fear (5401 /phóbos) is commonly used in Scripture – sometimes positively (in relation to God) but more often negatively of withdrawing from the Lord (His will).

[Fundamentally, 5401 /phóbos ("fear") means withdraw (separate from), i.e. flee (remove oneself) and hence to avoid because of dread (fright).] – HELPS Word Studies

[7] The Greeks used a number a words for love:  there is one for erotic love (eros), one for friendship love (philia), one for family affection (storge) and one for self-sacrificial love (agape).

[8] http://www.patheos.com/blogs/christiancrier/2014/05/02/what-is-agape-love-a-bible-study/

[9] https://www.christianity.com/wiki/christian-terms/what-does-agape-love-really-mean-in-the-bible.html

[10] http://faithpresby.org/archives/sermons/written/files_4d2a59265361b.pdf

[11] [11] http://faithpresby.org/archives/sermons/written/files_4d2a59265361b.pdf

[12] http://www.sharlafritz.com/2021/08/10-ways-gods-love-changes-you/